by diana

Hello Today

2010-01-03T13:25:00.002-05:00

Today on the 1 train

2009-09-18T13:48:00.003-04:00

Out of work at 1 o'clock pm, sitting on the train, looking forward to eating a sandwich when I get home. Suddenly my concentration is broken as the doors to 86th street open.

Enter, (train) stage left. Two women.

Single Mom: Light blonde hair- ponytail, light blue jeans, white sweatshirt, late 40's. Nasally New York accented voice.

Homeless Lady: Buzzed hair, mostly gray. Looks young and old, male and female at the same time (with exception to the gray hair and wrinkles). Judging by limp, one leg may be longer than the other. low gruff New York accented voice.

Both women speak in YELLS. Projecting their voices as though the rest us are the audience to their performance piece.

SM: EXCUSE ME! WE NEED TO SIT DOWN! SHE'S HOMELESS!
(man immediately gives up seat)
SM: THANK YOU! (pause) OK I'M GONNA GIVE YOU THE NUMBER FOR THIS PLACE! AND YOU HAVE TO CALL IT TODAY! YOU HAVE TO CALL IT AS SOON AS YOU CAN! THEY'RE GONNA HELP YOU! NOT MANY HOMELESS PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT THIS PLACE!

HL: THANK YOU! I WILL. I WILL! I'LL CALL WHEN I GET BACK TO THE SHELTER! I CAN CALL WHEN I GET BACK TO THE SHELTER AT 2!

SM: OK, JUST CALL! IF YOU DON'T CALL, YOU WOULD BE STUPID!

HL: I'LL CALL!

SM: NOT MANY PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT THIS PLACE! IT'S FOR OLDER HOMELESS WOMEN!

HL: I KNOW ABOUT IT!

SM: NO YOU DON'T!

HL: YES I DO! I'VE BEEN TO THEIR SOUP KITCHEN, IT'S GOOD!

SM: OK LET ME WRITE THIS DOWN FOR YOU!

(HL gives SM her papers, SM shuffles through her large purse, papers etc. fall everywhere.)

SM: OH!! SHHHHUGAR!!! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?! HOW DID EVERYTHING JUST FALL OUT LIKE THAT?

HL: I DON'T KNOW!

SM: THIS IS JUST... I'LL TELL YOU WHY! I'M A SINGLE MOM! I'VE GOT SO MUCH TO KEEP TRACK OF! OK LET ME WRITE THIS DOWN!

(4 seconds of silence)

HL: HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU HAVE?!

SM: ONE SON! I HAD HIM WHEN I WAS 38!

HL: REALLY!? MY MOTHER HAD ME WHEN SHE WAS 38! THAT MAKES ME FEEL NOT SO ALONE!

SM: I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL ALONE! JUST CALL THIS NUMBER OK, YOU WON'T BE ALONE!

HL: I'LL CALL WHEN I GET BACK TO THE SHELTER!

(train arrives at 110 st)

SM: WHAT STREET IS THIS?! 110TH STREET1?!

HL: THIS IS MY STREET! I HAVE TO GET OFF HERE! TO HELL WITH YOU LADY! GIVE ME MY PAPERS BACK! I NEED MY PAPERS BACK OR I CAN'T GET IN TO THE SHELTER!

SM: WHAT?! THESE ARE MY PAPERS! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?

HL: (with urgency) NO, THEY'RE MINE! I GAVE THEM TO YOU TO WRITE THE NUMBER DOWN!

(doors shut. the women miss their stop)

HL: I MISSED THE STOP! IT'S OK, I CAN GET OFF AT 125 AND GO BACK!

SM: OK I'M GETTING OFF HERE, WHAT WAS YOU'RE NAME?!

HL: LORRAINE! WHAT'S YOURS!?

SM: MARY!

(SM gets off at 116. HL YELLS to herself until the next stop)

HL: WELL I'M NEVER GONNA MAKE IT BACK TO THE SHELTER IN TIME. I'M NEVER GONNA MAKE IT ALL THE WAY TO THE UPPER EAST SIDE BY TWO. I'M NEVER GONNA MAKE IT ALL THE WAY TO 174TH AND JEROME BY TWO. I GUESS I'M GONNA LOSE MY BED. I GUESS I'M GONNA LOSE MY SHELTER BED, BECAUSE IF I DON'T GO TO THE MEETING BY TWO, I LOSE MY BED. I LOSE MY SHELTER BED FOR NINETY DAYS. (she curses Mary for a few sentences). I'M NEVER GONNA MAKE IT. I GUESS I'M JUST GONNA LOSE MY BED.

(train arrives at 125. Lorraine hobbles off.)

I appreciated my sandwich today much more than usual.
Right now, it's 2:18pm. I doubt she made it to the shelter by 2.

Krishna, you can make it!

2009-09-16T22:50:00.003-04:00

Today on the subway after work I was reading an article in New York magazine- Krishna Gone Missing. Krishna, a Nepalese woman, was visiting her daughter in Queens. She didn't know any English. One morning she went for a jog and didn't come back for three days- because she got lost, and wandered through Brooklyn and Queens for three days. With the help of a kind stranger, she finally made it back to the house.

Krishna, finally safe.

While I was reading, I smelled something really strange and horrible. It was a homeless woman standing next to my arm- everyone was covering their face and a guy opened the "do not open" doors (the ones the beggars use) so fresh underground subway air would let some of the smell out of the car. I felt bad for her so I breathed out of my mouth and kept reading. The longer I smelled her odor, the sadder I was. Feeling compelled, I gave her my apple when I got off.

Here's a mapped rendition of Krishna's journey.

Space Invaders

2009-07-16T09:59:00.004-04:00

I have to admit a terrible new habit I have adopted.

When I am in close proximity to a stranger who is using a BlackBerry, I love to read the email/conversation (s)he is having...

When the topic is not work, I've noticed multiple times that the conversation involves a conflict of some sort. For example, yesterday I was bored on the subway and happened to be standing beside a seated middle aged woman in a gardening hat. Her floral print dress was not consonant with her floral print cardigan. She was drafting a very long email to her mother, who I learned had a problem with alcoholism. The seated lady urged her mother to rise above her habit and support Sarah, a cousin who was divorcing her husband. Seated lady referred to a previous conflict they had (maybe it was on the phone?), and explained how much she loved the little boy who was her Godson, and the child of the soon-to-be-divorcee. "Please" she said. "I can't tell you how much I love them." The aloof mother seemed to be set in her judgements.

So I re-positioned myself on the train to catch a glimpse of her features. They were somewhat sharp, almost rat-like, but kind. Her lipstick was a red that matched her backless pumps, and she really needed to pull her dress down a little bit...

She got off at 72nd street. Maybe for tea?

So many conflicts now are typed and edited with a straight face. There are benefits to this- but it prohibits us from the emotional purging of a face to face confrontation that, when resolved is often very reconciling.

And I reconcile my invasion of stranger's privacy with thoughtful analysis of human behaviour... ;)

Always be aware of your surroundings.

2009-06-24T01:13:00.005-04:00

An abnormal man was standing on the subway track holding a large black trash bag. He looked a bit lost. There was a large group of us waiting for the train- tense and silently wondering if he was going move. Maybe he was a mole person on crack who lost his way?

One woman was able to yell "Get off the tracks, a train is coming!" but no one else said or did anything. They were probably experiencing the event similarly to me- helplessly transfixed and picturing the possibility of him being run over by a subway train in the next 30 seconds. That potential reality is very distracting.

So our train came- the 1 local at 137th street. My reaction to the possible flattening was squinted eyes and a slow turn away from the track in time with the hit... if it were to happen. I made eye contact with the lady next to me who did the same thing- our looks said, "I really hope this doesn't happen."

The train stopped and it appeared as though he had moved to the center of the tracks in time to avoid a collision. I was pretty relieved- that would have ruined a lot of days.

Sing Along Songs

2009-06-21T15:44:00.000-04:00

Brilliant.

Today

2009-06-04T23:03:00.003-04:00

Free coffee from Ben
Homeless lady with a beard
Nanny screamed, "I quit!"

Daily Haikus- fun and extremely late on the bandwagon (by about 2 years?)

Weedz

2009-03-19T20:11:00.003-04:00

Michelle is planting a garden!

"Almost the entire Obama family, including the president, will pull weeds, "whether they like it or not," Mrs. Obama said laughing."

As she follows in the footsteps of Eleanor the Great (the last First Lady to have a vegetable garden), perhaps we can follow their examples. Literally?

Here's the blueprint.

"The Obamas will feed their love of Mexican food with cilantro, tomatilloes and hot peppers. Lettuces will include red romaine, green oak leaf, butterhead, red leaf and galactic. There will be spinach, chard, collards and black kale. For desserts, there will be a patch of berries. And herbs will include some more unusual varieties, like anise hyssop and Thai basil. A White House carpenter who is a beekeeper will tend two hives for honey."

LUCKY.

Read the article in its entirety- cute

May the garden and gastronomic adventure of the First Family inspire us all- even if it's just a little basil or a tomato plant!

Remember the Children('s books)

2009-03-01T21:28:00.002-05:00

The other day in my Ethics in Family class, our professor read us children's stories and had us identify what ethical theories were applied in them. When she read The Giving Tree, I choked up the same way I did when I was a tiny child and heard the story for the first time- I always felt bad for that tree.
Do our favorite books as children play a large role in forming the literary and media consumption habits we keep as adults? Do they predict our sense of humor? I think so.

This was my favorite book in elementary school:

a poem?

2009-02-24T19:15:00.002-05:00

Is this typed laughter, or a poem about gender inclusiveness?

HEHE

HEHE

HEHEHEHEHE

HEHE

HEHEHE

HEHEEEHEHEE

HER HER HER HER
HERHERHERHERHER

HER

HSERHERHERHREHERHER

HIR

HERHERHIRHIRHIR

(s)he (s)he heheherherher (s)he (s)he heheherherhe

French Impressionism in the backwoods of Maine

2009-02-12T17:28:00.011-05:00

The most humbling moment I have experienced in recent memory occurred while watching Billy the Kid- a documentary by Jennifer Venditti.

I am fascinated by humans who are courageous enough to be strange. When I was younger I did not know how to engage with these people properly, and resorted to viewing them not as people with validity, but as entertainment. Over the years I've learned that deep down, my desire was not to make fun, but to understand. Unfortunately, understanding the strange kid in class is not a social norm, and it took a while to subjugate myself to their respect.

As a soon to be ex-film student, I've idealized a dream project filming short pieces of diverse lives, chronicling and comparing their values in order to learn more about different American cultures and the simultaneous inherent similarities. It's not novel (I wonder how many other white girls from the suburbs who majored in film have the same dream- I know of at least five) but I find every documentary of this nature to be most fruitful to the mind and soul.

I'm not sure if Jennifer Venditti had a safe and uneventful upbringing with a large backyard, but she has certainly succeeded in pursuing a career that appreciates the uniqueness of the individual. In her first documentary, she provides a remarkable insight to the life of Billy, a modern teenage outlaw (socially speaking) from blue collar Maine. As viewers engage in Billy's love for his mom, a first girlfriend, and "real" rock and roll (KISS et. al.)- the experience is not a traditional narrative that can be bound and boxed with a warm sense that life is fair. (You can't al-ways get what you waaaant... right?) It is an ebb and flow of rapturous and disheartening life experiences and stories told within eight days over the course of three months. The integrity, character and familial support shown among these instances certainly inspire- but they are not what humbled me.

This is Billy and his mom.
Yes, I photographed my television screen with a webcam.

She is wearing a Metallica shirt. Does your mother wear band shirts? Does she know who Metallica is? (In another scene she wears a Meat Loaf t-shirt, does your mom know who Meat Loaf is?) I know I have a tendency to watch moments like these with cultural superiority rather than through a lens of cultural relativism, and was chastened at once as Billy and his mother began discussing French impressionist painters (indeed, that is what they are speaking of in the image above). I had never before considered the respect deserved by the those who vulnerably allow their lives to be filmed for the scrutiny of strangers (this does not include reality television). It was a welcomed epiphany.

The wise, tortured and goodhearted nature of 15-year-old Billy transcends his age, asking us to consider simple (and sometimes cliche) ideals of proper human treatment that we often take for granted. Love your mother unconditionally, forgive those who wrong you terribly, and never harm a woman. His coming of age moments with a first girlfriend (an aspiring professional wrestler), and first breakup happen quickly, but induce strong empathy. I've felt how he felt, so did his mom, and you have too. If only the girl knew of the poetic monologues he murmured to himself as he walked home from martial arts class.

Billy the Kid reminds us to re-think and detach from ordinary social exclusiveness. Billy's "differentness" results in a proverbial gift he shares with vigor. Thanks to Jenifer Venditti and her crew, it is ours to accept.

Take an extra minute to appreciate a Rodin or Monet next time you see one.

Here's an analysis from The Independent.

Buy the doc
(or)
Queue it

Waiting for epoxy to harden.

2009-02-08T20:24:00.003-05:00

Patience is a virtue-
As I blindly attempt to build wire armatures that will eventually stand up and (GOD WILLING) not fall apart in the middle of shooting, I must wait for epoxy putty to harden as it holds the skeleton of my puppet together.

while browsing Pandora I was unable to help but notice an abrasive ad for this "band".

"Meet the Vassarettes. The world's first bra band."

The Vassarettes are named after Vassarette, the lingerie brand who created them. The website speaks for itself- these women have auditioned for the role of band chick in a bra, successfully humiliating themselves (probably unknowingly) with the recording of one distasteful rock advertisement. As the song is to be expected- and ignored, the video diaries make the viewer embarrassed for the members of this scheme, feeling more pity than annoyance. It's so bad, you don't want to make fun of them, you want to leave the webpage and pretend you never saw it in an effort to save their dignity. While many would argue their dignity deserves to be thrown to the vultures, something tells me they didn't know what they were in for at the contract signing (do they look like they had lawyers?). But I could be totally wrong, as this is a dream come true for these fit young women and their instruments (sponsored by Gibson, just in case you didn't catch that.)

"In 2008, the Vassarette brand scoured the country to find the most talented female musicians confident enough to perform in their bras."- The disclaimer reads before launching the "band" website. I believe a more accurate statement would be, "In 2008, the Vassarette brand posted an ad on every Craigslist employment page- "Wanted: hot female (model figure preferred) with any musical experience for sexy rock band. You will perform in your bra, compensation is high!" This is the perfect gig for any exotic dancer who took music lessons as a child and wants to get out of the adult industry for a while."

Confidence: playing fake rock concerts in your bra to advertise a company owned by Fruit of the Loom.
This is unarguably true, and as the scenario could be defined in many additional ways, I think my epoxy has hardened by now, and that is more important than spending any more time contemplating the Vassarettes.

The fine art of photography.

2009-01-21T12:25:00.002-05:00

Emily is spot on with her social networking picture standards. I was honored when she used me as an example, check out the rules here.

Frozen Smiles

2009-01-20T22:34:00.003-05:00

Today, we have a new President. It kind of makes me feel patriotic.

10:46
I turn on the television to CBS. Before the picture appears I hear Katie Couric describing the presidential limo. “It’s not a car, it’s a tank.”

10:51
“We just got word of Michelle Obama’s gift to Laura Bush. It was a writing pen and a journal with today’s date so that she can start writing her memoirs.”
“Let’s listen to the crowd.”
*crowd cheers

10:54
Birds eye view of the limo. motorcade of black panthers prowling along streets of Washington.

10:55
“He’s gonna make sure he has his long underwear on, that’s what he told me. He says he gets very cold.” Katie in reference to her interview with Obama yesterday.

10:56
I eat a piece of toast with sunflower seed butter and honey.

10:57
“there’s a sense of excitement here that’s building.”
“We saw Denzel Washington down there with Steven Spielberg and other celebrities.”

10:58
“One of the greatest things I’ve seen today is bringing babies. They want their child to be able to say one day, ‘I was there.’”

Katie remarks how rare it is to see this many people in so good a mood.

11:01
Bush and Obama walk by the camera
“President Obama will be allowed to keep his blackberry.”

11:02
Quick cut to shot of Sean “P. Diddy” Combs.
Chief Justice announced

“I think we have a map actually of the holding room where the couples wait before they come out.”

11:06
The commentators read excerpts of Obama’s speech because they have early copies. I suppose it will bring down the intensity of the wait since he will be giving it in ten mintues.
Catch phrase: “A new era of responsibility.”

11:07
“There’s Al Gore and Tipper.”
“Today is America’s day,”

11:10
A lady is wearing a furry baseball/polo cap

11:11
“This is the day that the lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it.”

Katie: “President Bush and Barbara Bush wearing their purple scarves, maybe to symbolize this isn’t a red or blue day.”
Man: “He’s wearing a turtleneck.”
Katie: “Well I think he’s smart.”
Man: “On his 85th birthday he’s planning to junp out of a plane again.”
Katie: “Didn’t he already do that on his 80th?”

11:18
Announcements and arrivals of former presidents as they are ushered to their seats.

11:19
Jimmy Carter

11:20
George Bush and Barbara

11:21
Bill and Hillary

11:22
Shot of white trucks as “elves” take out the Bush furniture and bring in the Obama furniture

11:24
Obama girls- poised, like living, breathing American girl dolls. I suspect it may be intentional.
“The Jonas brothers performed for them last night.”
“They don’t know how their lives are going to change at this moment.”
“There’s something nice about having young children in the White House again.”

Katie proceeds to talk about Laura Bush’s purchase of a home in Dallas without her husband’s help, and how having a mother-in-law in the White House would make a great sitcom.

11:28
Millions of people chant OBAMA. I sit quietly on my couch.

11:30
Michelle wears a gold sparkly ensemble with pea green leather gloves

11:31
GWB walks alone. Innocent and somber.

Commentators discuss Obama Lincoln similarities
Michelle is holding a red box and kissing cheeks
“She told me yesterday… when I was a child I never dreamed of being this nations first lady.”

11:34
Cheney pushed in on a wheelchair. Apparently he strained his back when he was moving houses

11:35
GWB and Cheney announced. GWB very peacefully acknowledges his colleagues

11:37
Michelle is holding the Lincoln Bible

11:38
Shot of Obama. The savior?
“Sea of humanity.”
This seems to b the largest group of people I have ever seen congregated in one place.

11:43
Barack Obama introduced
“Nobody’s complaining about the weather.”

11:45
Diane Fienstein opens the ceremony. She talks about freedom and democracy and turning points for change

11:47
Rick Warren provides invocation.
The first prayer where I have heard a pause for cheering, and I have heard a lot of prayers.

11:53
Aretha Franklin sings my country tis of thee. Now that is a bow on her hat if I’ve ever seen one!

11:57
Biden sworn in. First catholic vice president.

11:58
Classical music by Yo Yo Ma and friends. Opportunity to show clips of people watching in cities around the country.
Long zoom in of little black boy sitting in a pew attentive while others sleep and jitter. It seems a little cheesy, but I guess it’s necessary.

12:05
Joe Biden is president, Bush’s term expired at noon
Obama stumbles on oath, but recovers. Cut to shot of Chicago pews- little girl is still sleeping in front pew while her preschool teacher cheers.

12:07
“My fellow citizens, I stand here today humbled by the task before us…”
Hooray!

12:32
Joseph Lowery gives benediction and I like it.

12:33
I turn the t.v. off and go about my day. I hope the economy gets better soon.

P.S. I was SO UPSET CBS didn't show any clips of Oprah at the inauguration. I know CNN did, so I'll try to find an image. I can't wait until she runs for President.

Another reason to say "meow"!

2009-01-10T17:21:00.004-05:00

The Sartorialist is a wonderful blog to stop by every so often for a pictorial dose of unique, attractive and well dressed individuals. Scott Schuman typically catches these heavenly creatures on the streets of New York, Paris and Milan, and gives a very distinct insight on how his aloof subjects really get it right.

Exhibit A:

Every once in a while, a satirical website comes along that really gets me. I stumbled across this catire one today as I unintentionally caught myself evesdropping on Hannah's facebook wall.

Exhibit B:

I love the paw shot!

For the past few years, there's been an inexplicable array of internet blogs and sites devoted to the hybridizing of humor and cats via pictures and captions (lolcats, duh!). As Stephen Cohen perfectly emulates Schuman with his photography and commentary, I think The Catorialist is my winner.

Book lovers never go to bed alone.

2008-12-30T01:42:00.002-05:00

I just finished Chuck Klosterman's novel Downtown Owl, and while I was reading it, I didn't really like it. After I put it on my nightstand in finality, I realized that I think I loved it.

I've been taking cooking classes this week, and the girl I stand next to at my station is 12 ("I'll be 13 in four months" is how she replies to the questioning of her age). Her name is Gabby and she is short and stout with braces. I have to look down when I speak to her. Her posture emulates confidence while she protrudes her belly and holds her chin close to her neck.
After the chef showed us a culinary technique involving an egg, Gabby responded among our station with an anecdote:

"One time a kid in my class put an egg on the teacher's seat and she sat on it. But no one knew who did it and no one admitted to it, so it's still a mystery."

I was cracking up (pun intended) about this for a couple of minutes.
I do not feel twice as old as her.

In Between Holidays

2008-12-27T00:02:00.004-05:00

Today I drifted through a few retail chains avec Mom, as per her instinct to find sales on mass manufactured (and poorly so) things.
(particularly thin cotton cardigans and pull-overs within the value range of red and violet.)
Even she thought everything was crap, and thus did not stimulate the economy- despite those post-holiday sales (50-70% off!).

These are bad times.

Unsurprisingly, my blogger's block has been cured by a shift at Barnes. Ok also in my defense, last semester was really busy.

It was the 29th minute of my 30 minute break, and I was winding down a session of small talk and catch-up with the girls in cafe, thanking them for providing me with my dinner- a cup of coffee.

As usual, I was ranting to Kate about something relating to "after graduation", which of course related to moving to New York (because if I don't keep telling people that's where I'm going, I'll wake up in June and live in Philadelphia with my friends... different conversation).

In chimed Girl.
(I will not use her real name, I already learned my lesson about using real names in stories about people from work when I exposed a forbidden romance between a mean manager no one liked, who happened to be a lesbian, and a nice girl who everyone liked in cafe... different conversation).

Here is a quick description of Girl:
Voluptuous-African American-Pierced-Tattooed-Punkish Goth. Wears a voluminous blonde wig with a strategically messy ponytail. Owns an array of collars, but only wears the one with a leash attachment when she's off the clock. My favorite though, is the one with dainty spikes. She has the sweetest demeanor and personality. Her spirits are always high, and she is never at a loss for laughter. I've worked with Girl for a few years, and have a true and deep respect for her, as she does for all of her peers. Oh, and sometimes she wears a corset.

So on the 30th minute of my 30 minute break, Girl slyly and subtly chimes in:

Girl: Yeah, I think my career path is leading me closer and closer to the direction of moving to the city, and working in the FILM industry.

Then she stopped explaining and giggled a little, finishing the comment with her faux blue contact lensed-eyes. Kate was steaming milk for a latte that probably had gingerbread or peppermint flavored ooze coagulated in the bottom of the cup (it masks the badness of the espresso.) I smiled with my head cocked in confusion and inquiry. Then I shook it as if saying "no".

Me: Huh?
Girl: Yes, to whatever you're thinking. laughs.

I continued to stand perplexed for a moment as she continued to chortle.

Me: Adult?
Girl: Yes.
Me: Oh, hmmm, well, I mean, um, what? why? how?

Visual aid: Girl wears platformed knee high lace up boots, I wear alligator top-siders. Girl wears fishnets, I wear corduroys. Girl wears collar with dainty spikes, I wear turtleneck. Girl has pierced septum, I do not.

Me: Kate, did you know about this?
Kate: Yeaahhuh
Me: (to Girl) Why? Really?
Girl:Well it started with this photo shoot I just did. And I just didn't think it was a big deal at all! The photographer just told me to take off my clothes and I did, it just wasn't a big deal at all to me. So I'm like, why not. I mean, the money's good.

I pondered her reasoning.

Me: Well... ok. Ok, hmmm, ok but you HAVE to be careful, you know? There are a lot of smarmy people out there. You don't want to, you don't want to get, you know... sick.
Girl: Oh, haha of course I know that. I mean I prefer photography, photo shoots, you know, just photography. But I mean, I really like sex! And like, I realized I don't think it's a big deal. But I prefer photography. I'm thinking about doing something for a website, you know, but really I prefer photography.
Me: This is fascinating information, Girl, I'm very interested to understand you're reasoning! Please keep me updated. You know I have much respect for you, and do not support this decision, but I am very interested to learn more about why! This is so fascinating.

note: my recollection of the real conversation has been adapted and shortened, but is entirely consonant with the actual event.

So I went back to my cash register at the front of the store and stared into the distance, processing the aforementioned happening. (I should make clear this is not the first time a person in the cafe has told me about side-work posing for the male gaze. There was Sarah Jane, a thirty-something mother of two who's husband encouraged her to pose for "Big, beautiful women" dot com (?)... different conversation). My contemplation about prostitution, pornography, ethics and exploitation was halted as a small flood of people continued to ebb and flow, buying 50% off 2009 calendars all night.

The question remains.
Is wantonly posing for the sexual enjoyment of a stranger disrespectful if both parties mutually believe it's not "a big deal"?
Supplementary materials on "Big Deal"- see ethics and/or morals

If you're reading this, you are probably my friend, and know my opinion so I won't bother going into it. I'm too tired (like a bicycle).

To be continued.

She knows what she wants, and gets it.

2008-11-11T23:55:00.004-05:00

See how she casually leans against her friend, content and comfortable.

(If you can't tell who it is, just squint your eyes a little. If you still can't tell, it's Oprah.)
Dressed quite comfortably too, it appears.

snax

2008-10-12T12:39:00.002-04:00

Dark chocolate covered edamame. LOL/YUM/WTF
This interesting new chocolate covered trend pairs wonderfully with vanilla ice cream.

Another cute confection is chocolate covered sunflower seeds. They are great on ice cream too. Why do we (or maybe it's just me) consider seeds and soybeans to be such a unique delicacy? I suppose it makes us feel closer to the birds and squirrels and chipmunks whose lives depend on these fruits of the earth.

I love the compliments of this treat on nutsonline.com.

"Awesome idea!!! Who doesn't love sunflower nuts. And the chocolate, who doesn't love that!! Brilliant!!!"

-- Jennifer, Sioux City, Iowa

"These Chocolate-covered sunflower seeds are soooo delicious. I bought 2 pounds, got them yesterday and they're almost gone. Thanks Nuts on Line."

-- Douglas E. Garcia, Dacono, Colorado

"Hello Folks. I write to you as much as I write my family. The chocolate covered sunflower seeds are exquisite. A one pound bag does not suffice when I have people walk into the room and grab handfuls. My granddaughter is adept at spotting them on the carpet since the little treats pop out of greedy hands. Superb addition to NOL goodies! Anni G"

-- Ann R Golden

"Bright, colorful, and glossy. These treats are beautiful and . . . strangely addictive. My toddler thinks these are his favorite chocolate/candy shell treats. These are much healthier with the addition of sunflower seeds to the chocolate, so we BOTH love them. A perfect, delicate balance of sweet and slightly salty in a healthy little snack, not to mention very pretty. I also love the colorful, glossy coating. Perfect for an open candy dish (if you are prepared to keep ordering more to replenish it, that is!). Thanks!"

-- Jerri, Monroe, LA

It's great to see people appreciating the little things in life.

I've also noticed my cereal choices are becoming more and more like the fare we put in our bird feeder when I was growing up.

Delicious! Happy Digesting!

I'm too lazy to walk to the library so I instant messaged the Librarian

2008-10-06T11:39:00.003-04:00

Looking at this makes me feel a little like a robot of sorts.

Sport in Society

2008-09-12T11:17:00.004-04:00

Due to unfortunate schedule conflicts, my roommate is taking a class called Sport in Society to fulfill her Pluralism/Ethics requirement.
Thankfully, as a result of technology and wireless internet in the classroom, she is able to update me in real time of any humorous/disturbing happenings with a quick Facebook message. Think of it as a sport if you will.

Click the image to see this morning's home run.

I'm now obsessed with "print screen" and will be using it often, beware.

She said "skinny"

2008-09-08T11:32:00.002-04:00

According to the New York Times, Governor Palin 'confesses that her idea of breakfast is a “skinny white-chocolate mocha.”'

Any barista who has ever worked at a cafe serving Starbucks coffee knows what kind of person orders this drink.
Most assuredly, you do not want this person anywhere near the White House.

American History

2008-08-28T23:25:00.000-04:00

For quite some time, I have been snarky and cynical of my native land and culture.
The feeling is getting old, and I have only been in my twenties for about two years.
My 22nd birthday is November, the 23. I hope that the results of an event 19 days prior to this date in 2008 will allow me to feel differently.

Relics

2008-08-28T10:07:00.004-04:00

I wanted to respond to Margie's clever "Do you remember when..." entry. I found this piece of trash in the pocket of a rain jacket my mom gave me.

I was almost 4 years old when she put this in her pocket. It is interesting to think that she could have been a millionaire if she put the effort into scratching the ticket and turning on the television.

It's interesting to think that people actually put that much effort into a sweepstakes. That would never happen now. It's the 21st century!

The Music Department

2008-08-27T22:10:00.003-04:00

So I finally finished working at Barnes & Noble, and they had me do my last shift in the music department. 8 hours on a Sunday. Not much happens.

Exhibit A:
A woman in her later 30s, teenage-like in her pop culture references eagerly in search of a CD by Lilly Allen and "Stella". I tried looking up an artist named Stella, but found nothing. "Really!?" She screamed, "She has a song out featuring Kanye West!" Then I understood. "You mean Estelle?" (see previous post) "Yes!" She screamed, pointing at me with both of her index fingers. "I just gotta have that song!!" We had some trouble locating it, as it was strategically placed on an outer display next to the listening station. In the meantime, Exhibit A found a Rob Zombie CD next to a 50 Cent CD.

Exhibit A: "Woa!! I don't think this is supposed to be here!!" She hands me the CD "I mean, I like Rob Zombie, and I like 50 Cent, but I don't think they're supposed to be in the same SECTION!"
Me: "Thanks, I'll put it away."

When Exhibit A comes to the register to pay, I notice an interesting piece of body art on her forearm. It is a tattoo of a tiny dagger (maybe a centimeter in length), with the illusion that it is stabbing into her forearm, and there are little drops of blood coming out of the place where it is "stabbing" her. It was a full color tattoo. As she left the transaction, she made sure to comment loudly about the Entertainment Weekly on display. "Kate and Leo, NOT AGAIN!!! That was the beauty of Titanic!! They were a one time thing!!! And look at him (the guy who plays Harry Potter.) They better finish those movies, he's practically a grown man!!!" "Ok, ok." Her friend whined as she grabbed Exhibit A and pulled her away. "Have a great afternoon." I said.

Exhibit B:
Anne Lewis. I've spoken of her before, a regular at the store. Regular meaning she comes in everyday to buy something. She's very old. I think she has dementia or something like it. As she paid for her CD of cello music, she told me how her bird really likes it as well.

Anne Lewis: "You know, the birds aren't the same as they used to be. The climate change is making them weird. The vet's assistant asked me if I wanted to keep saving my bird. I said, Of course! These birds have to go through the same climate change as we do. The freezing nights. BRRR." (Anne always makes this noise, like a ghost)

See what I mean?

Exhibit C:
Three middle aged women who look the same and come in throughout the day: "Do you have the Mama Mia soundrack!!?? Do you have any idea when the DVD will be out??!!"
Me: "The Mama Mia soundtrack is over there on that best seller display above the number 1. The DVD should be out by Christmas" (I have no idea when the DVD will be out)
T.M.A.W.W.L.T.S...: "THANK YOU SO MUCH!"

Exhibit D:
A father and his two boys (approx. 3 and 6) linger around the Star Wars display table. They each wear a sleeveless t-shirt. The father has a traditional 90's American barbed wire tattoo around one arm. The other arm contains a portrait tattoo of the two sons standing back to back with their arms crossed. Judging by the state of their current development and subtracting the age they appear on the arm, I believe it is safe to assume that the tattoo is approximately 1 year and 8 months old. Also, the 6 year old seemed to be wearing a girl's shirt. Cute little beach scene printed on the chest of a sky blue material. Although, it very well could be a unisex shirt one typically finds at a beach souveneir shop.

America is strange.

An evolutionary perspective

2008-08-26T12:33:00.002-04:00

I found a new and exciting blog today- Monkey See

"Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels."
This quote is the opening sentence of a message Roger Ebert received on his blog. You MUST read the whole letter, it's beautiful.
Roger Ebert's blog.

Cheers

Hat ladies

2008-08-25T23:03:00.004-04:00

Speeches this evening by Ted Kennedy and Michelle Obama were quite pleasing. However, I couldn't help having a recurring thought throughout the time I spent in front of this televised event.
Americans are very strange.This has nothing to do with the individuals who spoke, and everything to do with the close ups CBS strategically chose to insert with each outburst of applause. I know this is a kickoff celebration to a convention of a party who will potentially take back the White House.
But those hats!!
Did you notice those hats? All those older women and their kind of cute, celebratory, definitely ugly hats. I know it's just a cultural politico celebratory gesture, but take a good look anyway.

And although I like to make these comments about the weirdness of the states, I was strangely struck by the fact that we are (in theory, even though I'm mostly around only white people) a land of such diversity. I don't think I've ever given it ANY serious thought before I scrutinized the carefully diverse closeups.
And I don't think I ever truly appreciated it until now.

There's someone for everyone

2008-08-21T13:28:00.003-04:00

27 seconds of silence

2008-08-20T16:23:00.002-04:00

I was in the car for a total of 1.5 hours with my little sister today. I timed each period of silence between her questioning, singing, ranting and making up commercials for her new shoes. The longest she went without making noise was 27 seconds.
That's less than half a minute.

I listen to the car radio since my iPod broke and I'm too lazy to carry CDs out of the house. This is the best song on the radio right now. If you hear it when you're driving, you'll probably bounce around in the seat. I do.
Estelle Feat. Kanye (Mr Gaspar Remix)

The Call of Duty

2008-08-19T14:32:00.007-04:00

I have neighbors across the street (who I never see unless they're driving in or out of the garage). I'm often tempted to sit in their plush lawn chairs, I feel so bad for the poor things never getting used, but I'm too loyal to my portable aluminum beach chair.
Anyway, I was walking my dog the other day, and saw a uniformed person in the neighbor's yard. There was a truck parked in the driveway with a large decal explaining their occupation.You guessed it. Pet waste removal. I can assure you, the face of the teenage(?) girl did not coincide with the dog on the logo as she hunted for defecation in the emerald lawn. I had no idea pet waste removal was a real entrepreneurial path. Maybe a community service task at a public park, but a business that picks up dog shit? Let's investigate this further. According to the website, this is what a Doody Calls Franchise Partner can expect on a normal day:

8:00 AM	Our call center receives a call from someone in your territory who wants pet waste removal services. All the necessary information is captured for you and archived on the server.
8:30 AM	Your team checks in to discuss the upcoming day. You give them their routes and any special instructions before they head off in their specially marked DoodyCalls vehicles.
9:00 AM	You plan your marketing activities for the day.
10:00 AM	Routine bookkeeping tasks are handled.
11:00 AM	The call center receives a call from one of your clients. They are having yard work done and need the front yard cleaned this week in addition to the regular back yard service. The call center sends the update to your cell phone and archives the message on the server.
12:00 PM	You meet a property manager for lunch to discuss service for her apartment community.
1:00 PM	You spot check a client's yard.
2:00 PM	You prepare tomorrow's routes for your team.
3:00 PM	You consult the online GPS system to make sure your team is on schedule.
4:00 PM	The team returns from their day. You debrief them, make sure that everything went well, and provide any necessary coaching.
5:00 PM	Time to hit the gym.
6:00 PM	While you're gasping on the elliptical machine, the call center signs up a new client and sends notification to your cell phone as well as the server.

"Time to hit the gym" (my favorite part)
Here's the website, just in case you are interested in joining the team in your area.

As the girl (maybe she just really likes dogs?) raked fecal matter into her receptacle, I wondered if she resented the woman in a glamorous van-cum-pet spa that was also parked in front of house. The look on her face as she talked on her cell phone while grooming one of the Golden Retrievers was so pleased and content, she even waved to me. I imagine this is more of what the Doody Calls girl is aspiring for. Or maybe she's just one of those inmates they let out during the day to work. I know Dunkin' Donuts hires a bunch of them.

By the time I had passed, the thought of how the neighbor lady must have had this day's event entered into her Blackberry planner.

1:00 pm
Doggy Day Spa
Shit Removal

4:00
Dr. Medelev for Botox

So remember, if you want to play in your yard barefoot and worry free, you know who to call. And don't worry about interrupting anyone at the gym.

Everyone has a (gay?) twin

2008-07-31T15:16:00.003-04:00

If Ludacris has a gay twin, I saw him yesterday.

I'm going to Ocean City Maryland tomorrow. It's so trashy, but it will be fun to hang out with my family and friend Margie. Maybe I'll buy a corona bikini. I would fit in better when I go to Seacrets.

Sisterhood of the Traveling Corona Bikini...

Also, Chelsey created a genius slang term.
Negative- noun. A very very tan individual with very very blonde hair. (see also Hulk Hogan)
"She's like a negative."

I think I will be seeing many negatives this weekend. Meow!

satire vs. trash

2008-07-14T16:43:00.004-04:00

I find this cover quite clever. It celebrates the freedom of the press, and makes tangible the absurdities of the accusations and slander commonly used against Barack Obama. Tactless and innapropriate? No way.

This is the cover people should be complaining about.

The Obamas are sharing this space with Hulk Hogan... and Lauren from the Hills... ? The more I think about it, the more speechless I become. Maybe it was for the money, or to reach out to readers of trash? Maybe it was just an inside joke...
On the bright side, now we know Michelle shops at Target.

hear ye hear ye

2008-07-14T12:43:00.003-04:00

Have a listen to one, some, or all of these songs! I happened to like them in this particular order, but mix it up if you are feeling rebellious.

Ratatat- Falcon Jab
Kind of magical and dramatic. A nice way to start a journey.

Rihanna- Don't Stop the Music (lazrtag club remix)
Pretty straightforward.

Black Kids- Listen to your Body Tonight
Free Sparks until 11.

MSTRKRFT- She's Good for Business
$1 well drinks until 11

MGMT- Kids
My favorite song of the summer

Beck- Walls
Lyrics aside, the sound of Walls describes the way I feel when I'm leaving the office after a good day at work.

The Kills- Last Day of Magic
Simple.

Coldplay- Death and all His Friends
NO REASON. Wait 2 minutes, then it's good.

Basia Bulat- I was a Daughter
If you were wondering what my singing voice sounds like. Maybe in my next life.

The Deadly Syndrome- This Old Home
Sentimental-Daytime-Indie-Rock. This would have been my FAVORITE song in 2005.

Sweating keeps you cool.

2008-07-12T19:16:00.003-04:00

Today at Barnes and Noble a lady ordered her piece of cake. I told her the total, and she reached down her shirt and pulled out her credit card and two gift cards. She handed me the credit card. It was wet. She asked me to check the balances on her gift cards. They were wet. She added a blueberry scone to go. The good-looking big one on the front of the plate. Then she put the cards back into her secret hiding place.

sidewalk stories

2008-07-02T09:56:00.002-04:00

I bought a croissant at the corner store. The woman who rang me up was pretty like the blind girl in House of Flying Daggers. I gave her my money and was taken aback by her bright green fingernails. Cute!

Outside I walked by two guys, on their way to the beach? One was shielding his torso with a boogie board. He looked like a young latino john waters- yes he had the mustache. Very Cute!

"What are we doing?"

2008-07-01T22:47:00.003-04:00

I was given the "internish" task today of delivering a package. Object: DVD. Destination: Film Curator at the MoMa.
Minutes before I returned to the Zeitgeist office, I realized the trip would be a perfect long take... in a Godard film.
It was late morning, bright and hot. Not a time I typically enjoy the out of doors. I walked to the orange line on Houston and Lafayette. A line I never use. I got on the train. To my right was a very passionate couple. She sat on his knee as he massaged her back with his knuckles. Her facial expression said his hands were elsewhere. I blankly stared ahead out the window, my periphery still had them. At least it was in black and white. The train stopped. The window framed itself in front of another passionate couple. Making out. Viciously.
"Of course."
I got off at Rockefeller Center and walked a block underground. The corridor was a nicely air conditioned ant farm. All the ants triumphantly held iced lattes with green straws. I ascended to 50th street.
Light again.
Tall exotic men in fancy suits smoking cigarettes, and tourists with back packs.
Eventually, I entered the lobby of the museum and took a place in line behind an awkward/terrified/pixie-looking artist type. She was accompanied by an Asian woman in a business suit who did the talking.
"We're here to see Elizabeth. She said she was going to meet us here."
Elizabeth showed up seconds later and apologized for her tardiness.
My turn.
The man took my package with flamboyantly fake enthusiasm and assured me it would get to the curator.
I returned to the light and entered Heaven.
...I mean the MoMa design store. After gawking at minimalist wall clocks, carafes and cutlery I bought some photo albums. "Thanks a lot!" I said.
Back to the light.
I slowed my pace as I passed two straight lines of eight children. Age: 4. They wore vests that were leashed together. Like a train, or slaves... no not really slaves. The little angels were accompanied by two miserable looking females, unamused as the children stopped in delight at the discovery of a six foot tall statue of liberty. Red white and blue with a baseball theme.
I let myself walk behind women who were being photographed by their male counterpart. I hope I am in their vacation photos.
Out of the light, into the subway, I felt terribly content. In fact, full of joy.
Back to the light.
A leisurely stroll down Lafayette to the office. On the way, I walked by a woman- unmistakably a runway model, with a man- has never been mistaken for any kind of model. As I passed them, she asked him in an East Europe accent, "What are we doing?" The American responded, "Huh?"
In that moment was the joy of being a human- happily insignificant and perfectly content.
In that very moment, in the light, I felt an unexplainable peace, as though my soul had been restored to a fullness it had been broken from for some time.
Not like a Godard film.

subway stories

2008-07-01T10:03:00.003-04:00

These are true, and happened to me this morning:

-The boy sitting next to me on the subway licked the screen of his video game.

-There was a picture of me and other intern David in the Metro newspaper. We were stopped on the street a few weeks ago and they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up when we were children. I said astronaut.

-I had a hard time finding a place for my salad in the refrigerator in the office. The box containing a bottle of Veuve Clicquot was taking up too much space.

A big hit.

2008-06-29T20:34:00.002-04:00

I suppose you all are wondering where I've been and what I've been up to these days. I wish I had one of those hit counters on this thing, then I would know how many "hits" I get. I can't remember the last time I was physically hit. Actually, I can. It was a few summers ago when I babysat my neighbors. The 7 year old boy didn't want to go to bed, so he slapped me in the face and used the word "shit" in an awkward context. Something like "You're a shit!" Then they moved to China- I bet they'll go to the olympics. As for this blog, if it does get any hits, I'm sure they are much more tame, maybe even loving.

This summer, I've been interning at . I commute from a suburb in New York. The time it takes me to get from the driveway to the SoHo office is approximately 2.25 hours. It's totally worth it...
No really, it is. However, the stories are nothing compared to the ones from Barnes and Noble (I still work there on the weekends ew/haha) Zeitgeist is a small independent distribution company, catering to the documentary/art house niche. Everyone who works there is super nice. Every day is predictably comfortable, steady and enjoyable. Last Friday evening, Zeitgeist celebrated it's 20th anniversary by throwing a cocktail party at the MoMa as the museum begins a retrospective of screenings during the month of July. Sipping cocktails and eating hors d'oeuvres in the garden at the MoMa- I felt like a jerk going into Barnes and Noble looking for a replacement and saying why I couldn't work that night.

So now you know what I've been up to. Let's get to something a little more interesting than NYC- quotes and scenarios I encounter behind the counter at Barnes and Noble.

First and foremost, I must emphasize my disgust for the term "skinny" in reference to any drink we make that contains milk. I hate it. If you don't know what it means (good for you), it means the drink must be made with non-fat milk. And if there is any high fructose corn syrup added (i.e. vanilla, caramel, peppermint(sick), hazelnut), it must be "sugar free". Example: instead of saying, "I'd like a non-fat, sugar free vanilla latte", one would say, "I'd like a skinny vanilla latte". I'm sorry, to be more accurate: "I'll have/I need/give me a skinny vanilla latte".
I dislike the term "skinny" because of the connotations it gives. Starbucks has been creating and changing the vernacular of millions of people simply by making them feel a certain way (special) when they order a cardboard cup of hot milk and bad espresso. A girl I work with calls the ordering process for these people their "coffee monologue", their one big performance for the day. I wish I could take credit for that one.
Ok, so now that I have that off my chest.
"I'll have skinny cinnamon latte with soy"
"We don't have cinnamon."

This one's worse:
"Do you have light soy?"
I was taken aback by this inquiry, and did not hide it. "No, there's no such thing."

Here's a quote from a shirt I liked: "I'd rather be historically accurate than politically correct." I don't remember what the guy ordered. Probably a piece of cheesecake and a bottle of root beer. You don't see shirts like that in SoHo.

We have many regulars in our cafe. One of them is Anne Lewis. She is very old, and senile. Nice, though. We commend her by saying "At least she gets out of the house" as she walks away. She's been a regular since I was a senior in high school- spring 2005. Anne used to always order two pieces of cheesecake- one for here and one to go- with her large green tea. Now the doctor says she can't do that, so she settles for a banana loaf or something with fruit in the name. Same amount of calories and fat. One time she told me about her canaries, and how they like to listen to Beethoven. This may explain why 50% of the time I see her, she has purchased a cd of classical music (not always Beethoven). Yesterday she asked me, "Do you know anywhere around here where I can get socks?" Since our store is in an outdoor mall that is 75% comprised of clothing stores for women, I had trouble choosing a place to recommend. "Hmm, maybe Kohls across the street? I think that would be the cheapest place." Anne was very thankful for this suggestion.

Well, I've got things to do, so I'll digress for now.
Topics you can expect in future entries: "energy shots" we put in the drinks at work for an additional 50 cents, the rusty blade I found in the little sink we keep our stirring spoons in, and a summer mix- Rihanna will be in this year's too!

Love.

Just don't talk too much.

2008-06-08T23:22:00.002-04:00

I like this song. It's really easy to sing along with while driving my old volvo on I-84.
What if you were the producer of this... or the director... or any part of the creative department.
It would be awesome if you could say "Colby O'Donis is my cousin."
He seems really sincere.

SB08

2008-03-13T20:36:00.003-04:00

****Spring Break 08****

Live your life

Drive fast

Kiss slow

This is your moment

The nights you'll never remember

With the people you'll never forget

-A poem in honor of my week off from classes, word combinations taken from various anecdotes I've seen/heard here and there. ; )

Actually I happened to be at home in Connecticut doing little more than sitting, eating and

running errands in my mom's mid-sized SUV (I really did feel guilty in it.) Although it was nice just getting in a car and going...

Today I was especially bored, so I took my dog Sam for a walk, brushed his fur and then took his picture. Speaking of mid-sized SUVs, the 8 I saw while walking were the only visible signs of life in the neighborhood. I saw 10 vehicles total. At one point, two of them stopped, rolled down their windows and chatted with eachother for a minute. One lady said "Hey! (inaudible) What's happenin?" It's such a blessing to have friendly neighbors.

After spending time with Sam, I got a haircut. Arthur (the stylist) was great. He looked a bit like this man:

except thinner, clean shaven, wrinkled and more reddish hair.

For an hour, Arthur talked with me about his eating habits, and other food related things. It started when he began telling me he saw a 6 dollar loaf of bread at the store.

-Because farmers are growing more corn now for bio-fuels. The bread I buy used to be about 3 dollars, but now it's up to around 3.65. It's from California, it has the 7 whole grains and protein which is important. I used to eat some bread from Vermont but now I stick to this kind. The price of flour is going up.

Then he asked me how short I wanted my bangs. And I decided to bring up plastics and the issue of bottled water.

-I only drink SmartWater, because it's filtered through evaporation, and it has electrolytes in it. I don't even cook with tap water, I used Poland Spring for that. Did you hear about the water thing? How there are substances from syringes not getting filtered properly? I put my water in a gallon glass container when I buy it because you don't know how long it's been sitting in that plastic in the warehouse... I try to buy everything else in glass jars. Do you know what a vegetarian is? (joke) I'm a vegan, there are different kinds of vegetarians, I don't eat anything related to an animal. Did you hear about the bee thing? They're all leaving their colonies and not coming back. This is bad because they pollinate so many of our plants.

Arthur doesn't sound much different than some of my friends.

He also taught me that a strand of hair has three layers. When hair turns white, it means the inner layer, the media, is gone. I didn't ask how it disappears, but it would be a cool thing to research.

The cut ended up a little Paula Abdul-ish, but that usually happens when they use nice product and meticulously blow-dry and style the hair. We'll see how it looks when those things aren't done, starting tomorrow.

Tomorrow I'm going back to Philadelphia. On the way I'm stopping in NYC for a summer internship interview at Zeitgeist Films, a distribution company. Therefore if I get the internship I will soon be looking for a room to sublet, probably in Brooklyn. I can be like Lena Chen!

L8r

Human Behavior

2008-02-08T23:47:00.000-05:00

This is what I did when I came home tonight:

-Washed my hands and face, and brushed my teeth.

-Put on lounge wear.

-Made a cup of herbal tea.

-Turned on Yo-Yo Ma's Suite for Solo Cello No. 1 in G Major

I know how this makes me seem, but you won't be rolling your eyes when you're finished reading.

Here's why:

I spent my evening with friends Nadia, Kaitlin and Ryan. Nadia wanted to bring us to an Ecuadorian restaurant in West Philly. We took the subway, with all good intentions of having a delicious meal at Galapagos Restaurant.

This never happened.

As I took my seat on the westbound train, I noticed an intriguing couple to my left.

Intriguing: filthy appearance, the woman was brushing her long greasy hair and using the window as a mirror. The man was aiding in the brushing, and the woman eventually succeeded in giving herself a smooth, tight ponytail. (they were white)

I tend to pay mind to people of this appearance out of curiosity. Why do they look like this? Can they help it? Is it a result of drug abuse, poverty, or both? I cannot honestly determine if my observations of these people stem from comparative cruelty, or a desire to better understand the root of certain human behaviors. Perhaps it is both.

A few stops later a group of 5 African American 13/14 year olds entered our train. They were loud, and well* dressed as one would normally see a "popular" suburban teenager dress. Abercrombie, Aeropostale, cheap jewelry, well groomed hair etc.

*popular opinion, but in fact very prole.

The kids were rowdy, but not bothering anyone. I typically expect this behavior from this age group, and see it frequently on the subway. A stop or two later, one was trying to get off, and a couple others were physically preventing her from doing so in jest. Each time the doors would start closing, the kids would put their arms in the way so it would re-open, thus causing the train to delay departure from the stop. Eventually, the friend trying to get off screeched (as 13 year olds commonly do).

The woman (with the ponytail) audibly muttered "Some people need to get somewhere" two times. The second time, one of the girls confronted her. "What did you say?"

Instantly the friends gathered in front of the woman as a gang. They started to verbally abuse the woman and her husband. They angrily screamed and laughed at the couple's ugly appearance, yelling "AHHH Look at those teeth!"

The woman angrily yelled back in defense, "What!? I ain't got no teeth!! I ain't got no fuckin teeth so shut up, what you talkin bout, I ain't got no teeth!"

It was true, she didn't.

This is exactly what they looked like:

This condition is commonly known as "meth mouth". I could only assume (sadly) that her condition was a result of drug abuse, so I looked up various mouth conditions associated with different drugs. This was the most common, and truly fit the image of her screaming mouth that will forever be stored away in my mind.

Meanwhile, the husband was yelling at the teenagers to shut the fuck up. There was a lot of yelling and screaming of mainly obscenities and absolutely no sense. Eventually the man told the kids to have one of the group go to the back of the car and fight his wife one on one. (before this when he was telling them to shut the fuck up he also said that if one of them laid a hand on her he would fucking kill them because she's pregnant.) One of the girls started walking toward the back, and two more followed. The man grabbed the followers saying only one could fight. Anger climaxed and the kids hit the man. The wife responded by getting up and pounding on the children as they started a heavy brawl in the front of the subway. Soon all the kids started hitting the woman and pinned her against the front. From my seat, it appeared as though I was watching primates, some hanging from the poles above. There was a helpless older woman trapped in the corner in the midst of the fighting, quite frightened.

Before the outright brawl started, I was having terrible emotional confusion as I watched the verbal abuse between the groups. I felt as though half of my being was laughing, and half was crying. For some reason it was hilarious, while simultaneously one of the most horrific sights I have ever seen. I was conscious of these dual feelings, and upset additionally by the humor I was finding in the situation. These were real people. A pregnant woman, probably addicted to meth, her husband, and a group of terrible raised young people, all literally behaving as animals. It was so surreal that it was almost as though we were part of some kind of interactive performance on the subway.

Anyway, the fighting continued, and everyone in our train was very upset and confused as to what kind of action should take place. I got up from my seat and stood behind a sheet of plexi glass once the realization of the possibility of a gun being drawn became clear. I truly believe a gun, or at least a knife would be pulled by the husband or one of the young boys in retaliation. Meanwhile, Ryan gets up and begins to peel they layers of fighters off the woman trapped against the door. First the husband, then the children. Ryan and elderly man with a cane successfully separated the groups until the subway finally reached a stop and the kids ran off, some of them crying, all of them injured in some way.

We returned to our seats, and then I noticed the carnage on the ground. All that cheap jewelry was broken all over the floor. Clumps of a weave/wig were scattered, and the woman was standing in the middle of the isle, addressing only her husband. She loudly boasted of her ability to take on and injure the group that attacked her.

"Hey baby, want some hair?" She nonchalantly said to her husband as she threw a piece of the weave she ripped out at his feet.

"Sit the fuck down!" He yelled.

She continued to boast as he reprimanded her.

"If someone disrespects my man I'm going to fuck them up! And see that, I did! I need to stop breaking these fucking nails. They're all fake."

Our stop came, and we got off in a daze.

The four of us began to de-construct the scenario. We considered what seeded the dispute- A simple, understandable frustration with adolescent foolishness.

I truly believe the kids responded so angrily and confidently because the couple was so ugly and looked as though they were less socially advantaged, and not because they were white. It was also interesting how as soon as the kids ran off the train, the woman immediately became prideful and boasted about the different injuries she inflicted on the children. However, if it weren't for Ryan, she could have had a much more serious injury than the giant egg swollen on her forehead. He described a look of fear on her face as he was separating her from the children. A task her husband was unable to fulfill.

What causes people to behave this way? A dominant thought in my mind during the battle was "This is no way humans should behave." However, it is almost expected and quite regularly associated with "the city".

I believe the deepest root of the problem lies in spiritual neglect and death in people. We are always told to take care of our body, and educate our minds. We are rarely told to simply be conscious and aware of our spirit. I suppose it is to be expected of a person who so explicitly neglects his or herself health, but considering the idea hypothetically, I truly believe this kind of behavior would not, and does not exist among those who are spiritually aware.

Contrarily, what are those who are spiritually aware constantly discussing? Inner peace. The last thing one who is working toward or has attained inner piece will do is cause physical harm to another individual over a disagreement.

A lesson learned.

Sadly, the pregnant woman will undoubtedly boast to others about the night she beat up a group of kids to defend her husband on the subway, while the kids will be boasting to their friends about that ugly ass bitch with no teeth they fucked up on the subway because she tried to tell them what to do. And they probably killed that bitch's baby too, so ha.

We have an answer to their problems, figuring out a way to get them to consider it is beyond me.

RIP Fishez

2008-02-03T17:45:00.000-05:00

Tragedy has struck here at MCPC.
All our fish have died.

Our house has a nice quiet lounge and dining area, accompanied by a peaceful fish tank which adds a tranquil dynamic to the room. A family of approximately 30 goldfish kindly swam together for as long as I’ve lived here, always providing me with a wonderful visual while relaxing on the couch. There was also one large algae eating fish that lived on the bottom of the tank, occasionally surfacing and frightening any humans who happened to catch a glimpse of his/her(?) ugly visage.

Yesterday afternoon I was socializing with some friends when I received a phone call. I walked into the quiet lounge to answer the phone, and noticed the fish tank to be very cloudy and very green. As I drew closer the carnage was evident, little fish were floating at the top and bottom of the tank. I screamed and hung up the phone.

My friends came running to their horror and surprise of the fatal tank. Mouths gaping wide, we didn’t know what to do. I ran upstairs to alert my roommate and grab my camera. We needed evidence… just in case this was murder.

In a fit of bravery and “fishitarianism”, Charley Wilkinson found a survivor. She rescued the last living gold fish and put it in a small tub of water, methodically blowing bubbles into the water with a straw to create oxygen. She also knew to massage the gills of the creature, hoping to relieve it from any post traumatic stress.

Once we calmed down a bit we started to wonder… what about the ugly one that lived on the bottom of the tank? The tank was too opaque to see more than a depth of two inches. However, minutes later it appeared!! The disgusting face looked out from the tank at us for 8 seconds and quickly returned to the invisible morbid waters.

From that point, there was nothing we could do except to keep the survivor alive. Charley has thus far succeeded. Regrettably (well…) the large algae eater was last seen floating dead at the top of water.

RIP Fishez.

The Bola Tie

2008-01-18T01:53:00.000-05:00

The Bola tie is the official neck wear of Arizona.I learned this today at a cowboy museum in Wickenburg, the town where the tie was invented. The wild, wild west is actually quite interesting, and although original ranch life was dirty, difficult and dangerous, it eventually became an opportunity to lure vacationers from the singularly wild east.

I'd like to take a week off from life sometime and spend it on a ranch in Utah, or perhaps Nevada. The cowboy museum informed me that over the years, many of these ranches became "health clinics". REHAB.

Tonight I went to a production of the musical Hairspray... and liked it.
It was loud and bright and colorful and altogether a sensory indulgence. All I wanted to do during and after the show was sing and dance Motown style. Actually, I still want to.
On the way to the show my grandpa was talking about the economic recession our country is entering.
Conclusion: Just like folks went to see big, banging, elaborate song and dance Hollywood films in the 30's, we see Hairspray.

az

2008-01-16T23:37:00.000-05:00

It is almost time to start semester number 6.
Until then, I'm spending the last few days of break at a retirement community in Surprise, Arizona. (The city is called Surprise.)
There are 10,000 homes in my grandparent's "compound" called Sun City. It is one of 3, all equipped with golf courses, recreation centers, and NO children (or anyone under the age of 55).

On the plane, I sat between Randy and an old man who read an old golf book the entire 5 hours. Randy was a typical in-flight talker. A graphic designer (his company mostly created the nutrition labels for food), father and car enthusiast. He was traveling out west to attend a car show. I disappointed him with my consistent lack of vintage car knowledge. When he wasn't watching Family Guy on his iPhone, he was reading graphics magazines and listening to Bruce Springstein.
He asked me what kind of car I drove.
"A Volvo."
"Ahh, you're a conservative."
"Heh..." (cue holding the New Yorker back up to my face.)

My luggage didn't make it, so they delivered it to Gram's door around 9pm, which was nice because my bags were so heavy and I did not feel like carting them through the Phoenix Airport. (It's actually not that big.)

Gram took me to the Maui Wowi in the recreation center in her neighborhood. We stood in line next to a group of friends who had just finished a tennis match. I had a chicken salad wrap and black lava smoothie. We ate outside next to a fountain and fake creek with real birds in VERY plush outdoor furniture. It was nice to take off my parka.

Today Gram and her friend Bert took me to Sedona. They listened to Christian CD's (which they called tapes the entire ride) and talked about Bible study. At first I was amused, but soon realized what kinds of things really start to matter once you're hair has grown back from cancer treatments.

In Sedona they sent me on a Pink Jeep tour. They wouldn't go because it was too scary. I was riding in the back of a large pink jeep up and around giant rock formations and mountains with a German driver, and 3 galpals winding down from the Phoenix marathon they ran on Sunday.
Sarah, a doctor was still limping terribly since she "decided not to train and just do it anyway." She was the only one wearing a ring.
Debbie, a lawyer gave me her card so I could email her the pictures I took of the tour. It was fancy, I think she likes giving it out to strangers because it says "attorney at law" after her name.
Jenn was talkative, and sounded like a d.j. on a pop music radio station. (In my case, KISS 95.7) She was my favorite. She also asked me if I was Amish, a very common question when I tell people my school is in Central Pennsylvania. I told her Amish people don't go to school past 8th grade.

Thomas (driver): "____" is the BEST restaurant to go to for dinner in Sedona.
Sarah: Does it have a good bar?
Jenn: I like to meet people!
Debbie: I just like to booze.
Sarah: I like to eat good big meals. (She has to say that because she's married.)

Conclusion: Unless you have children, you don't change much from your college self, you just make a LOT more money.

After the tour I had to find Thomas to get the sunglasses case I left in the Jeep. He told me the women on the ride were nice, but a little crazy because the electrolytes from their bodies were not stabilized yet from the marathon. He said in the summer many people act like them because they get dehydrated. "Didn't you notice how they were a little bit strange?" He asked me. "Yes, I suppose they were, a little." I replied. However, they really didn't seem that strange to me at all. Unless many of my friends and acquaintances ( or even myself) have a constant electrolyte imbalance.

At the Supermarket?

2008-01-08T21:12:00.000-05:00

I went to the supermarket to buy soup this evening.

Inside I saw THESE:

A large vending machine for Jessica Simpson endorsed skin care.

AND

It's hard to tell from the picture, but this is indeed a vending machine for iPods. There were some Canon Powershot digital cameras taking up a row as well.

Conclusion: You can buy iPods and Proactiv from vending machines... at the grocery store.

While they seem a bit overbearing and out of place, they came as no surprise. Hello it's the 21st century.

"Diana can you go to the grocery store and pick up some milk... and an iPod nano? Oh and you might as well get me an iPhone too, my screen is cracked."

"But what about Applecare?"

"Oh don't worry they vend that as well."

I'm waiting for Starbucks to create one that makes complicated lattes. It would be so much cheaper for them, and eliminate the hassle of paying humans, like me.

l8r!

Back Again

2008-01-07T22:49:00.000-05:00

This blog has re-dedicated it's life to updates. Salvation has come. Forgiveness lasts forever!

Last year I attempted to create an unofficial Messiah College blog called Unorthodox, however I realized few of the posts related to the college. I decided to re-post a few of the decent entries from Unorthodox here, delete the unofficial Messiah College blog and re-dedicate my blogging life to this one. I still have plenty of free time before school starts again, so a facelift will arrive in the next week or so (I hope).

Let me tell you why I picked up this old thing, dusted it off and began typing again.
New Year's Resolution 2008: Improve internet identity.
How? Blogger and Vimeo

I spent my day working at Barnes & Noble (aka barnz), eating and internet speed researching holgaroids.

Lesson of the Day: There is hope for the future.
Why?
I slothfully stood at the cash register, staring out the window across the street into the window of Jos. Bank. Suddenly, a heavenly light shone through the flourescent aura on a 70 year old woman as she approached.
Appearance Head-Toe (starting with head)
- Approx. 5 feet 3 inches
- Thin black permed hair (the chic messy-i'm-old kind)
- GIANT RED TORTOISE SHELL PERFECT CIRCLE LENSED GLASSES, very thick, her eyes were magnified approx 1.5x actual size.
- High quality long gray hooded knit sweater. well worn.
- Matchstick jeans (from 1991?) hitting 2 inches above the ankle. Gray leggings underneath (for warmth)
- TIMBERLAND SHOES. Tan, in between high and low tops. Well worn.
- Large (real) Louis Vuitton bag. VERY worn and dirty. In use long before people started buying fakes to appear rich. (Even though the rest of their outfits are disgusting.)

The kind lady ordered a small black coffee and a brownie, sat down at a table and stared out the window as she ate and drank.

I hope to be a carbon copy of her in 50 years.

Here's a link to my vimeo page. It has a nice blogger meets skype appearance. Keep an eye out for more videos here and there every so often. This is a project I did for class last semester.

Walter and Elizabeth from diana on Vimeo.

Beat It 10/8/07

2008-01-07T00:38:00.001-05:00

Last weekend Doug and I went to a screening of Pull My Daisy at UPenn as part of an "On The Road" 50th anniversary celebration. Kerouac wrote and narrated the short film.

Based on an incident in the life of Neal Cassady and his wife Carolyn, Daisy tells the story of a railway brakeman whose painter wife invites a respectable bishop over for dinner. However, the brakeman's bohemian friends crash the party, with comic results.

Giuliani Says "Yes" to Cheese 10/4/07

2008-01-07T00:36:00.000-05:00

When it comes to cheese steaks, Rudy Giuliani does not take hand-outs. That's right, he paid full price on Monday night for his cheese steak at Geno's in South Philadelphia.
In fact, Philadelphia Republican Mayor Candidate Al Taubenberger seemed quite excited as he informed the local news anchors with a detailed recollection of the cheese steak Giuliani ordered during his pit-stop-cum-publicity-appearance on the way to another political function.
There is nothing ironic about an out-of-towner travelling to the world famous stand for a delicious (?) heart attack in a roll. However, there is a bit of irony when an influential Republican candidate who has recently made a strong stance on illegal immigration makes a stop at the stand infamous for a little sign in the window that reads: "This is America. When Ordering Please Speak English."
Hearing of this appearance, I was forced by my better judgement to skip community gathering with my roommate so we could catch a glimpse, and maybe a word or two from the Grand Old Party's representative.
In short, we caught a glimpse- for about 45 seconds. During this time Giuliani walked out of the Geno's kitchen signed a book, and climbed into the backseat of a Cadillac Escalade. Although I didn't hear a word from the former mayor of New York City, a writer from the Associated Press caught a few. "Immigration is the best thing we have going for us. We need new people. We need people who are going to inform us, give us new ideas, but it has to be legal. Illegal immigration is a bad thing."
Maybe I should have done more research, but to my knowledge, there are no presidential candidates who are public advocates of any illegal activity, immigration included. Who will disagree with him on that?
On the other hand, I have no problem disagreeing with a sign that implies a negative, segregating or hateful attitude toward a specific group of people. There's an old saying I learned as a child (and avid reader of the American Girl books). "Actions speak louder than words". I have the opinion that in politics, actions scream. So- what did Mr. Giuliani yell when he walked out of the kitchen that night?

It's easier to park a bike than a Suburban in the city.

When do you make decisions with your mind, and when do you make decisions with your heart?

Taubenberger is quite excited as he talks about Rudy's cheesesteak before he praises Giuliani's book, "Leadership"

Are hip hop remixes a result of post modernism? Should you make them your ringtone?o

2008-01-07T00:33:00.000-05:00

Here's a quick mix of songs I want to give you.

I'm not sure if everyone realizes the song titles are links to downloads, so I'm telling you now. When you see a song link, it means you can download it. This is assuming some of your are dumb, or somewhat digitally illiterate. I'm sure this is not the case. I'm sure I'm saying this for no reason.

mp3 Broken Social Scene Presents Kevin Drew- Gang Bang Suicide
Apparently all of the members of BSS will be putting out solo projects in the near future. I.e. there will be more BSS presents... Even though Feist already does this (She's playing at Messiah in September so go see her it will be excellent). And the Kevin Drew project sounds more like another BSS album than a solo effort. Meaning it's quite good and nothing to complain about.

mp3 Air Traffic- Charlotte
I feel kind of guilty for liking this song. Could they be mistaken for the Arctic Monkeys? I believe so. Do I like the Arctic Monkeys? NO. Maybe this is why? The song is catchy, I don't hate it, so oh well.

mp3 Diddy feat. Lil' Kim, Keyshia Cole & Busta Rhymes- Last Night (remix)
A post-modern remix? Could all remixes be considered post-modern? Do I know what I'm talking about? This is a matter for Chuck Klosterman. I love Lil' Kim. Listen closely and you'll hear P. Diddy make the sound of a phone and then say hello to himself.

mp3 JD Natasha- Hey Ya
Yes, this is an Outkast cover. Performed by a Hispanic rocker girl from Miami. She does it some justice, I usually listen to it two times in a row. Covers are great because you can instantly sing along.

mp3 Blood Red Shoes- It's Getting Boring by the Sea (Blamma Red Shoes Mix)
A song I like that I stole from Fluokids.

mp3 Simian- L.A. Breeze
Windows down.

mp3 Yann Tiersen & Shannon Wright- While You Sleep
Less like the Amelie soundtrack, more like Velvet Underground. (I originally wrote Less Amelie, more Velvet Underground, but that was too cryptic. Explanation- Yann Tiersen composed the soundtrack for Amelie, and the song sounds like the Velvet Underground replaced Nico with Shannon Wright. But you already knew this so I'm saying it for no reason.)

mp3 The Go! Team- Doing it Right
From the new album due out SEPTEMBER 11. Wouldn't it suck if that was your birth date? I would feel so guilty celebrating.

Well, that was a little wordy. Can you find me in this picture? Hint: I'm standing behind something. The yellow papers say "HU" and "S". We are a gender and asexual inclusive crew.

Captured Time
It took us kind of a while to pose for this picture.

Enjoy the music!
L8R.

p.s. Here's a current list of shows coming to Messiah this semester. Looks pretty good to me.

Potter Madness 7/25/07

2008-01-07T00:32:00.003-05:00

photo courtesy of Alex Deely, pure genius.

Last Saturday, one of the most popular (and important?) books of the century was released. Naturally, the bookstore I work at stayed open late to release it to the hundreds of people who waited around all night until the magical time of 12:01. Most of these people were waiting in the cafe (where I work), and most of them were not a problem. However, for some reason, multiple women got very frusterated and short when they ordered a brownie and we didn't give them a corner piece.

I've never read any of the Harry Potter books. I don't have a good reason for it, I just never had the desire. Since I can't give an opinion about the series, read what my friend Brian Duffield wrote in the SAB blog about the books.

Here are some pictures from the madness.

This is me with my friends Lindsey and Sam. Lisa, our manager eagerly joined in, happily putting her arms around us.

These employees are taking a break.

L8R!

Potter Madness 7/25/07

2008-01-07T00:32:00.001-05:00

photo courtesy of Alex Deely, pure genius.

Here are some pictures from the madness.

This is me with my friends Lindsey and Sam. Lisa, our manager eagerly joined in, happily putting her arms around us.

These employees are taking a break.

L8R!

Comes Equipped with a Red Miniskirt 7/16/07

2008-01-07T00:30:00.000-05:00

Well well well.
Here it is.
At first I thought this was a sick joke. An extremest trying to make a point to girls on the corner. One swift swipe of the sword and your bottom half cleaned up to be sold on the internet for fifteen dollars and seventy-seven cents. Thank the stars, I was wrong (this does happen on occasion).
I'm probably the 718th outdated (by three years) person to write about this particular Japanese export, but you don't mind.

I could try to be clever, but sometimes (usually) the straight story is more advantageous. i.e. the interview with the creator of the girlfriend lap pillow. Read it, and you will not weep.
INTERVIEW WITH CREATOR OF GIRLFRIEND LAP PILLOW

"Our opinions were divided between thinking it would be better to make the stomach fat or thin. We decided on making it fat."

Compared to a starving person (before bloating), or an Olsen girl (I respect them), this is indeed a fat stomach.

L8r!

p.s. If someone got me this and/or the boyfriend pillow I would not hate it. Christmas is only four months away.

p.p.s. get this woman some chapstick.

All You Really Need is Foam 7/12/07

2008-01-07T00:29:00.000-05:00

It seems as though Japan is always one step ahead. Electronics, cars, cute small things, aerodynamic efficient things and... boyfriends?
My friend Nadia happened upon this article and knew better than to read it without sending it my way.
They've come up with an alternative to a living sleeping man.

When I read quotes like,

Junko Suzuki, told AP: "It makes me relaxed... I can hold the arm and feel something warm at my side".

And,

"It keeps holding me all the way through. I think this is great because this does not betray me," she told AP.

I do not worry about my future. I know there is a place out there in the masses of the media for me- Someone who purposely suggests disgusting Frappuccino flavor combinations on the cafe chalkboard while teasing the very word "Frappuccino" by spelling it wrong and adding accents on every vowel. Something inside tells me I would get along quite well with the genius behind this very interesting news article.

Someone cleared Boyfriend's work visa!
For that guy who won't cut you a deal. (Not for horse lovers)

Stay tuned for my next entry on the Girlfriend Lap Pillow. (Yes, it's true!)

Peace!
Whoever edited this photo needs to learn how to use the blur tool.
(Is this Junko?)

Hot Dog! 7/5/07

2008-01-07T00:28:00.000-05:00

Here's a summer phenomenon...

I visited Coney Island last Tuesday.

Pretty normal, right? Well, take a look at what happened the next day.

The man in the center of this photograph ate 66 hot dogs (buns included) in 12 minutes.

"The Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog-Eating Contest is sanctioned by the Major League Eating (MLE), the world governing body of all stomach-centric sport. The Nathan’s Famous International Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Championship has been held each year on July 4 since 1916, according to archives."

As for worrying about calories, these fine competitors from all over the world can't get enough! Competitive eating is an O-F-F-I-C-I-A-L organization (unlike this blog), and is taken very seriously by those who participate. The sacredness and pride of IFOCE is seen in the seal.

International Federation of Competitive Eating
or
IFOCE

International. So don't start criticizing your fellow American countrymen like you normally do when there is some kind of ridiculous and/or wasteful behavior. It's a globe spanning pang of hunger.

Check out the IFOCE website for more news, and information on how to join. I'll tell you right now, consuming 66 hot dogs in a whole day is practically impossible for most normal humans, and entirely impossible for vegetarians and vegans. So if you are a meat eater, and think you have what it takes, head over to the supermarket and cash your paycheck on about ten dozen packages of hot dogs and get practicing!

"The IFOCE will not sanction or promote any events that do not adhere to the highest safety regulations. The IFOCE believes that speed eating is only suitable for those 18 years of age or older and only in a controlled environment with appropriate rules and with an emergency medical technician present.
The IFOCE is against at-home training of any kind. The IFOCE strongly discourages younger individuals from eating for speed or quantity under any circumstances. The IFOCE urges all interested parties to become involved in sanctioned events -- do not try speed eating home."

L8R!

Light Bright 6/26/07

2008-01-07T00:26:00.000-05:00

Frap Light please!

One calorie is the amount of digestively available food energy (heat) that will raise the temperature of one kilogram of water one degree Celsius.

A carbohydrate is a biological molecule that fulfills numerous roles in living things, such as storage and transport of energy. Derivatives of carbohydrates play major roles in the working process of the immune system, fertilization, blood clotting, and other forms of development.

Today while I was working, a man asked me how many calories were in the pretzels we served. He then asked me how many carbohydrates they contained.

Me: "The pretzel will provide you with enough energy to raise one kilogram of water to 250 degrees Celcius, and the amount of carbohydrates required to provide 12 hours worth of energy contribution to your brain.

The Man: "I'm sorry ma'am, my asking how many calories and carbohydrates was really a question of whether or not this pretzel would cause me to grow larger in size. Sensibly wondering, will it make me a less attractive man?"

Me: "Yes."

The Man: "Well then, I suppose I will order a product that tastes tolerably unnatural as a result of various undigestable chemicals. It's the outside, not the inside of my body that matters. I'll have a mocha light frappuccino."

This is how the conversation actually went:

The Man: How many calories and carbs does that asiago cheese pretzel have?

Me: Alot.

The Man: Oh, ok, well I guess I'll have a mocha light frappuccino.

Me: Ok, do you want whipped cream?

The Man: Yes please.

I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure this conversation would not have existed 30 years ago. Well, I guess that's a pretty obvious thing to say since I wasn't alive 30 years ago to have the conversation.

It sure was bright out today. Humid too.

L8r!

R.I.P 5/15/07

2008-01-07T00:24:00.000-05:00

Today I recieved a phone call from my friend Megan while my mom and I were returning a rental car.

"Diana, did you hear!?"
When she said this, I got really scared that one of our good friends got killed or something.
"No, what?"
"Jerry Fallwell just died!"

Megan goes to Liberty University. The school Fallwell started. While he has been the butt of many jokes between the two of us, he never seemed like a person that would... die.
Then she had to get off the phone so she could go to some anouncement in the auditorium. Apparently the school was in chaos and turmoil as a result of their leader's passing on.

Speaking of death, my iTunes library has disappeared. This means that all of the songs on my hard drive/external hard drive are gone. Am I upset? Yes, wildly upset.

Another thing I have laid to rest recently was my sophmore year of college. It was hectic, eventful, sometimes awful, but overall the best.

I had the best roomate ever this year. We lived in Greece and Grantham together, and shared many first (and last) experiences. It was a hard thing to lay to rest, (cliche alert) but I am eager to see what the future holds.

R.I.P.
Jerry
my iTunes library
the school year

A Sticky Situation 4/30/07

2008-01-07T00:23:00.000-05:00

This is an article i wrote for the school paper. I think it is interesting, and am very thankful to Kathryn for letting me interview her. The article doesn't come out until later this week, and has been changed a bit for editorial reasons. This is the original.

Kathryn O’Neal, first year philosophy and (hopeful) music major says, “I like to mess with people’s sense of normal. I think it’s partly the philosopher in me.” She believes self expression is important and said, “A lot of people get an extra piercing, I choose to carry a stick.” The kind of attention she tries to draw has a purpose. She wants her peers to engage in self-reflection. “I think the one big question behind the stick is, what is normal anyway?” Kathryn said.
Kathryn uses the concept of breaking social norms to make others think about why they confine themselves to specific forms of expression. While many people have seen the staff from a distance, few have had an intimate look at the articulate and meaningful accessories.
Her shirt with a Cheshire cat said, “Kinda Crazy”. Kathryn laughed and said, “My friends say the ‘kinda’ is inappropriate”. She did not mind admitting that she is a bit more eccentric than others on campus.
The staff she carries is the third; fourth if you include the wooden dagger she made for the Caribbean beach party during welcome week. She said, “I made it to match my outfit, and proceeded to carry it around for a while during welcome week.” The first “staff” was a straight stick with all the bark carved off. “It broke”, she said. The second was decorated with a ball, feather, and wire. It was stolen.
As she continued to talk about her current staff, Kathryn would refer to it gender specifically. She said, “This one is the first to acquire a name and a gender” Her name is Sylvana. “It means top branch, I believe it is Latin in origin.” She said. Every so often Kathryn would tenderly look down at Sylvana: “I pet her.”
Sylvana’s decorations are what give her the character lacked by the other staffs. Each one has a meaningful connection with different aspects of Kathryn’s personality, as well as what she says is an “idea of a magic staff which would only really be understood by fantasy buffs.” The Hobbit being the only fantasy book I have ever read, my qualifications for understanding the magic element to Sylvana are sub-par. However, Kathryn kindly and patiently explained the symbolism between herself and each decoration.
The top of Sylvana is wrapped in black tape and is meant to aesthetically compliment the red rose and ribbon that are attached. The ribbons remind her of her parents, who sent a box of candy from which they were taken last Valentine’s Day. The rose also comes from last Valentine’s Day, and was taken from a chocolate given to her by a close friend. Beneath the red objects is a small sand dollar. It was originally a puppet’s necklace she had performed with last summer at a Vacation Bible School.
Three things are coiled around the middle of Sylvana. A silver wire, a braid of Kathryn’s hair and a snake created from duct tape. The wire relates with the “magic” aspect of the staff, as does the hair. Kathryn explained that magic staffs in the fantasy genre require very personal elements, usually being a lock of hair or fingernails if one does not use blood. She said the lock of hair also creates a close bond between her and Sylvana. The thin red snake with white diamonds is meant to represent a piece of Kathryn’s personality. “I’m a little bit obsessed with snakes… most of my friends say I can be a little bit serpentine.” She said with pleasure. She said her love of pulling pranks on friends has earned her the nickname “Anaconda” from some people.
In regards to her decorations, she said, “I’ve been trying to put bits of what people see in me.” Kathryn intends to find symbols for a cat (another animal to which she is often compared), a music note (for her love of music), and some kind of symbol to represent the philosopher inside her.
Tied to the bottom of Sylvana are real squirrel tails given to her by a friend who shot them with a shotgun. “That’s mainly for freaking people out” Kathryn said. She likes to see the looks on people’s faces when she comes around the corner carrying her staff adorned with all of her ornaments.
Sylvana is one of the most recognizable objects on campus. Her distinction has left an impression of first sights in the memories of many students. Bethany Ellis (‘09) said, “I was in Lottie, and she had the stick leaning against the table when she was eating. And I remember thinking that was really gutsy for a first year student to make that bold of a statement. It made it really clear that she was comfortable with who she was.” Jenny Asper (‘09) says, “I think I saw her in Lottie and thought to myself, wait, she’s carrying a stick.” Another student remembers it during the holidays, “Didn’t she put tinsel and garland on it for Christmas?”
Finally, she explained why the stick was female. “Well, because if she wasn’t she would be breaking visiting hours.” Kathryn said with a smile.

Here is Kathryn and Sylvana

l8r!

Good Friday April 2007

2008-01-07T00:19:00.000-05:00

Diana and Gregg Gillis

Friday, April 6 2007
Girl Talk
Baltimore, MD

Summary:
I danced so hard the heat and sweat of my body bled the dye from my green shirt to my white shirt underneath.

Conclusion:
The best Good Friday ever.

Listen to Girl Talk

Oh, and Matthew spotted this man:

Jon likes to check in on his children. Matt certainly is one of them.

L8r

Foolishness!

2007-05-22T11:52:00.000-04:00

I'm a bit concerned about my blogging history. more than once it has been found by people i have described. some took it well, and others not so much.
I've put those aside, and have come to the rememberence of a integral part of my summer last year when I worked at Place (that is the alias i have given to the large corporation i work for in the summers). The Soup Sessions. I made the foolish mistake of using first and last names of the subjects. I made an even more foolish mistake by forgetting the username and password to the blog, so I can't go in and change things. The third foolish mistake I made, was that I put the names and pictures of all the contributors (friends and colleagues at Place). So if Soup ever finds the blog we made about her from a collective notebook we wrote in during our shifts all summer, she will know exactly who and when wrote what. I guess you are probably curious and want to see the blog. I will not be a tease.

The Gospel of Soup
http://soupsessions.blogspot.com/

International House Of Peurile

2006-12-28T00:46:00.000-05:00

the first person to go to any eatery specializing in low cost starches (IHOP, Denny's etc.) and find a man wearing this shirt gets a big prize.
an even bigger prize if it's a woman.
now get out there and start scouting!
bullzeye!

and an even BIGGER prize if they have tickets to the next uncle cracker show at the next state fair.

remember what your motherland taught you.

2006-12-23T23:42:00.000-05:00

explosions in the sky- so long, lonesome

i've returned.
i don't know how to sum up with words, the experience of a 20 year old girl living an excessively selfish lifestyle in athens, greece for three months.
with no responsibilities.
with no inhibitions.
with no cell phone.
with no rules.

to properly describe it to you, i need hand motions, facial expressions, inflection of voice and your physical presence with mine.

so here's the bastardized online delineation.

pictures.

sissini 29
bronvent (brothel/convent)
my home

the prodigious elevator. loyal, yet tempermental.

everyone who is anyone.

sanguine in santorini

must-recharge-my-batteries.
beep beep

be careful where you put your hands in large public spaces.
all kinds of freaks and creeps out there will take a picture of anything.

no comment necessary
breathing deeply as she returns from submersion, nessy spots the boat to which she must return.
kalispera.
our favorite burn-victim-turned-beggar.
from what i hear, it's a lucrative business.

i had the cliche "life changing" experience that all fools who study abroad undergo. if you've lived in another culture for an extended period of time, you'll understand. if you haven't, you won't.
so pick up and go to australia, ireland, japan, italy, spain, mississippi, wherever.

appreciable elements of america include:
obesity and choices, choices, choices.
stop taking it for granted. get out there. eat, drink and spend money. you live in the greatest country in the world, let's keep it that way.

now my heart is returned to sister winter.

2006-11-05T15:22:00.000-05:00

A cold and beautiful experience includes:
Prague
Mixed with
Sufjan-Sister Winter

Today was my final day of tourism in Prague. I woke up this morning to an empty hotel room after my aunt and grandma left, to got ready for the day. The silence was really weird for some reason, so I invited my friend television over for a little visit. Luckily for me, t.v. brought the live broadcast of Saddam Hussein’s death sentence with it, so I took a break from applying eyeliner and watched Sad Sad’s reaction to “death by hanging”. Sucks to be him I guess. Soon after, it was time for checkout, so I said bye to t.v., and left the haven of comfort, cleanliness and hot showers for the lonely, icy day ahead of me.

I’ve seen enough souvenir shops full of those wooden Russian dolls that open and there are like 40 more inside. My eyes have had their fill of avoiding sights of crappy lanyards and shirts that say, “Prague, Czech Me Out!” and “My Brother Went to Prague and all I Got was this Lousy T-Shirt!”. I’ve been in every cathedral, and seen all the sights from Mission Impossible. It’s about 35 degrees outside, and instead of snowing it’s half raining, half icing. Yes, the architecture is gorgeous, unique and ornate. I could gaze at it for hours. The cobblestone streets are so quaint and picturesque. I could walk on them for even more hours. My problem here is simple. I’ve been living in Athens for the past two months, and therefore am currently and have been underdressed for the past 5 days. This has consequently iced over my body, as well as my soul. All I wanted for the next 4 hours I was trying kill was a warm place to sit, and perhaps something to eat with the last of the change in my pocket. (My bank account has depleted approximately 97 percent since I’ve left America, a status of which I was not aware of until yesterday, resulting in other complications, such as worries about eating, drinking and not being able to buy shit I don’t need.) so I wandered around aimlessly, trying not to get too far from familiarity.

I know people are out there shooting each other, and starving to death, and getting sentenced to death, but it’s difficult not being the center of your own universe when you are feeling discomfort and have no one to talk with. In my attempt to fix my situation I looked for a place with warmth and chairs. a golden sign appeared in front of my eyes, and I was no longer cold tired and alone. It looked like this:

So now I am sitting in a very comfortable leather chair on the second floor of a swanky McDonalds in Prague, Czech Republic, not being bothered by anyone. I used the last of the change in my pocket to buy an unsubstantial amount of food, identified as a small blueberry muffin and accompanied it with a small bit of ice cream in a cup. Too bad I don’t have enough to pay for the WiFi they provide, then I could post this on the internet too! I guess I’ll have to wait until I get to the airport in Budapest Hungary. They have a damn good free wireless connection. If I make it of course…

Later that night…
Guess what, I’m in Budapest. This is my favorite airport ever.
I'm talking to Josh about the idea I just had for soaking orange gummy bears in mandarin vodka. He made a funny comment about it and made me laugh out loud in a public place (airport). i love laughing out loud in public when i'm by myself. I bet they wonder what's so funny. unfortunately the language barrier is going to prohibit my telling them.

I just took a picture of a really weird couple for josh. i don't think they were amused, especially since i accidentally laughed really hard when i took it. uh oh i have to get on the plane now. goodbye budapest.

greece version 0.2

2006-10-29T09:28:00.000-05:00

I don’t drink Starbucks coffee.
I don’t support multi billion dollar companies who exploit farmers in third world countries whose children can't get proper nutrition or education because their parents don't get paid a fair wage for their manual labor.
On the contrary, I do participate in hypocrisy. In accordance with that, I do admit to have walked more than 20 minutes to find the nearest Starbucks from my apartment. I passed approximately 15 cafés on the way, but unfortunately the brewed coffee in Athens seems to have been neglected for a lesser substance known as Nescafe. Also identified as powder and water stirred up in a glass. Thus my justification for acting against my personal “ethics”.

They only had House Blend. Signome (excuse me) bitches, but I wanted a darker roast than House Blend. I am a pretty easygoing person, so I compromised, added espresso, and got more than my desired result.

I sat alone outside at a table surrounded by teenagers and couples. While consuming my large (grande here is large) “red-eye”, I read an entire issue of i-D while listening to cansei de ser sexy. Bad (good!) combination. I have not partaken in that much caffeine for more than 2 months. I have not been pretentiously stimulated by Brit/American alternative culture since I’ve been in Athens. Hell, if I am going to be an honest person, the most engagement my mind has had since I’ve been in Athens is finding what is legal here, but illegal in the states, and doing it. On a scale of 1 to 10 of intellectual engagement, these activities score a 0. I hesitate to say this because I’m not here trying to sound like a badass, or some proud hedonistic college kid. I hate those people.

The combination of my body shaking from caffeine, my mind racing from the magazine content (and caffeine), and the endorphins in my brain going haywire from the music/pleasurably warm weather was an overload of the senses. I somehow needed to outwardly express this euphoric chemical/emotional/physical experience I was encountering while walking home. It came to me. i realized the perfect material way to express the character of my feelings...

+

+
cansei de ser sexy-let's make love and listen death from above
=

i bought a bottle of grey goose
and put it on my roomate's bed.

greece version 0.1

2006-10-06T08:44:00.000-04:00

pulp: common people mp3

everyone hates a tourist.

2006-09-16T00:27:00.000-04:00

i went to messiah last week for a pleasurable visit. here are some pictures documenting a few memorable moments.

this is an actual shirt. thanks to krista, i am now the owner of the greatest shirt ever made (this one).

apparently i wasn't being quiet enough for amber. i just wanted to note how quickly amber changed out of her dark brown liquid stained track jacket. that night was a bit hazy i must admit.

it may have been a bad idea to be messing with the RA's ugly braided thing she had hanging in front of the door. it was promptly reconstructed in the morning. unfortunately.

cooking ramen was also a bad idea, for it entailed the boiling of water. however, the mission was safely and successfully completed. and very very satisfying might i add.

one day we went for a short hike, and came across this sign in the window of a storage shed. i felt like i was in a fictional situation when i read it. micheal is a quality human being, and one of the most intriguing people i have ever met. i miss him.

this was on the ground below the sign. relation to the sign is unknown. it weirded the hell out of all of us. it appears to be the outermost layer of a squirrel being dried for an unknown use. not ok.

journey to the ropeswing. status: excellent

he never ended up letting go. just kidding, he did, and it was a wonderful splash.

my pals pat and kris from master's. we help eachother out. yes i know my shirt is see through, i don't care ok?

i looked out the window one afternoon and this is what i saw. they are a dating couple. i know this because i saw them a previous night wearing these capes and had matching french braids. love it. love it so much. probably religion majors.

pat helped me out one night when we had a dance party.

i'm picking up and moving to greece for the semester, but no worries, i will make every attempt to update while i am there. so be ready for some entertaining photos and hopefully unbelivable stories. feel free to send me a message via facebook, which will probably be my main source of communication. if a terrorist takes down my plane, or i drown in the mediterranean sea, know that i love you all very much. have fun with george, i'll miss him and his infinite wisdom immensly!

i've been listening to beirut alot lately. their album gulag orkestar is excellent. here's a good song for any time. beirut-postcards from italy

send them stickers in the mail

2006-09-14T23:37:00.000-04:00

when i was a small child, between 1-3 years old, i lived in phoenix, AZ. i have very minute reccolections of that period of my life. never the less, i do remember some things. an easter egg hunt at the park, swimming at my grandma's house, and playing play-doh with a neighbor friend.

through the incredible networking power of Myspace, my old neighbor friend found me.
the first message she sent read:

This might sound wierd, buuut did you live in phoenix, AZ when you were about 2 years old? I swear I'm not a psycho lol you just look a lot like someone I knew...

well, i was a bit confused as to how she recognized me. i don't believe i would be able to recognize someone i knew at age 3 whom i have not seen in 17 years. BUT, i pushed these thoughts aside and kindly responded to her message. yes, i did live in phoenix when i was about 2. i said i hoped she was one of my old friends.
this was her response:

lol Remember this? My name is Amy Finlan and I lived at Paradise Point apts. My dad just discovered myspace the other day and he was searching old names. He came runnin to me and said he found you. I don't remember much, but my dad said that we played all the time and when you moved we sent stickers to eachother lol. Boy, I sure hope you don't think I am crazy. Is any of this ringing a bell? lol. Ask your mom if she remembers. My dad's name is Dan King. lol wow I feel like a psycho. lol

it turns out amy wasn't a psycho. her dad might be, but in my opinion, being psycho is not always bad. if not for his incredible stalking, i mean researching skills, i wouldn't get this cute picture! but seriously, little stories like us sending stickers in the mail to eachother makes me wish i could be 3 once more. this triggers the thought of how 20 years of my life have gone by, and so much of it i don't remember. it's a little sad for me to think about, but that's what is good about keeping in touch with friends. even though i completely forgot about amy finman's existance, she found me, and blessed me with a seemingly insignificant memory. this seemingly insignificant memory triggered sentiments which have reminded me to appreciate the friendships i have, and not take them for granted. so, i hope by reading this, you are provoked to remember old friends and value the ones you are close with now. perhaps you could even stalk some of the old ones on the internet and send them a hello! they might not hate it. i sure didn't.

amy, her 3 year old son, amy's boyfriend

i would venture a guess and say that we lead very different lifestyles now. that's ok though. life is an interesting commodity, and seeing how people choose to pursue it is a very intriguing thought.

jack and me, whom i will miss dearly.

although unrelated, my obsession with leaked music gives me no choice but to leave you with a song from Of Montreal's superbly titled new album (that doesn't come out until january) hissing fauna, are you the destroyer? i guess we can say this song is in honor of... fashion week, which ended today i believe?

Of Montreal - Suffer for Fashion

love you kids!

one shot of tila is never enough.

2006-09-08T01:24:00.000-04:00

as many of you may not know, tila tequila is one of the most popular internet celebs is one hott piece of meat. what i mean is, if she was an animal, any hunter would give up his wife to get this animal for its prize winning meat.

as many of you may not know, i am friends with tila tequila on my space. a also tend to read her b log posts begause they are so mentally invigorating. if you want to find one intelligent broad, look no further, here she is.

and here is an example of the art tila so excuisitely evokes through her fingertips tapping on a keyboard. voila

Date: Sep 7, 2006 8:52 PM
Subject I WAS TRAUMATIZED TODAY!
Body: OMG today was soooo gross! I went to the eye doctor because I had a really small stye in my eye and I just wanted to get rid of it....stye's aren't usually a big deal....but anyway.....so I went to the eye doctor not really knowing what to expect, and then they told me that they were just going to inject my eye with stuff and I was totally freaking out! I already hate needles as it is, but putting one into my eye????? AHHHHH!

So then the doctor comes in and tells me to look up at the ceiling while he pulls open my eyelids...he says, "IT WON'T HURT AT ALL"

Then I feel this sharp, intense pain inside of my eye....then the pain gets deeper and deeper as my eyeballs start to roll to the back of my head while I was grasping hold of my leg for fear of passing out! The pain was so intense...on top of that I started to feel stuff squirting out of my eye! I felt like I was in a horror movie like "SAW" or "HOSTEL" where I was being tortured while my eyeball was squirting out of my head! hahahaha ewww I know...sounds so fucking gross but that is honestly what happened to me today.

Then after that first injection was over the first thing I remember saying was, "HOLY SHITTTTT MAAAAN! FUUUUUCK THAT FUCKING WAS THE WORSE PAIN I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED! SHITTT MAAAN!"

The nurse was trying to make me feel better by holding my hand and saying, "YOU'RE DOING GREAT!"

While my eyeball was bleeding and all types of stuff was coming out of my eye....hahaha! Just when I thought it was over......they said that there was going to be another injection!!!! WHAAAAAAAAAT?????? This time on the upper eyelid as opposed to my bottom one....UGH! I was about to die.....and I felt like I almost did.

By the time it was all over I put huge sunglasses on my face and walked out feeling like someone just shoved a 20 foot pole up my ass.....I was so traumatized! All that squirting you can't help but think back of all those gross horror movies and feeling like all that stuff is coming out your eye!!!!! hahahaha! Well yea....just thought I'd share something with you guys that I totally should have kept to myself. GROSSSSSSS! Oh and yea...my eye is still puffy right now but it's much better. I hope I didn't gross you out! hahaha!

Love

Tila

as a result of her acute way of explaining the meaning of life and other phenomenons, about 1.5 people view her myspace page every second, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. at the very moment i write this, a total of 43972198 times.
by the way, she is also a very successful musician. the track she is currently releasing through her page is called "fuck ya man". you go girl! keeo up the good work!

make a profit (i mean raise awareness) by publishing your scandal.

2006-09-03T23:11:00.000-04:00

CocoRosie-Beautiful Boyz
yes, i really like this band, so stop asking if i'm joking about it. and yes, that is antony you hear singing the chorus. and yes, i like him too, despite the ridicule i've endured from my close friends. i just feel like the song compliments the entry ok? so just listen.

everyone loves a good scandal. an action or event regarded as morally or legally wrong and causing general public outrage. furthermore, we all know a real scandal involves some degree of a hookup. let me tell you a story.

it was just another night at work. i was unproductively standing around with christine. a man approached the counter so i got in register-postion. he was a little man, with very shiny and smooth skin. his cologne was a bit too pungent for me, but not bad smelling. we exchanged hellos, and he proceeded to take a shiny paperback out of his bag and set it on the counter. he asked me what i thought of the cover, and i kind of hesitated because it really was not anything extraordinary to my eye. the name of the book was: "Forbidden Love with a Married Man; E-mail Diaries". i simply stated that it reminded me of a movie a saw once called the dying gaul. he went on enthusiastically, revealing the book as his own. a memoir. (he pronounced it memwahh as he stuck his nose in the air.) an account of every married womans worst nightmare: her husband secretly leading a gay double life with another man.

meet dennis schleicher.

after reading his amazon profile, you now have a synopsis of the situation he so openly shared with me as i prepared his coffee. a few weeks later he came back, vibrant as ever. we greeted eachother like old friends, and he wasted no time informing me on how surprisingly well his book was doing. there was something about him i liked. "torri spelling even did a review on it!" he gleefully told me. "torri spelling reads?" i thought, but didn't say. further into our conversation, i asked what his lover's ex-wife thought of all this. he gave me a guiltily amused look and said, "oh, they're still married. she has no idea about anything." not the relationship, the book, the publicity, the support groups for wives. i was in total shock. "what are you going to do when she finds out?" i asked. he shrugged and said, "i have no idea." well, i suppose it will make good material for a sequel. maybe dennis has something going for him. gossip magazines aren't the only ones who can make a profit off a scandal, and why not write about your own? firsthand accounts are always the most reliable. i bid farewell to dennis and wished him luck. he told me to call him and he would autograph a book for me. maybe i'll take him up on the offer.

corporate rats

2006-08-28T23:53:00.000-04:00

my friend hannah theorizes that an outbreak of the bubonic plague could possibly hit new york city one day in the near future. she explained that some branches of starbucks in nyc were complaining about rats and roaches.

“Approximately 1 out of 5 New York City Starbucks have
been cited by the health department for mice or insect violations,” said Daniel
Gross, an IWW organizer and former Starbucks barista.
“For workers and consumers alike, those are bad odds.” -infoshop.org

haha love it. if starbucks is complaining, think of what must be crawling all over the nasty places on st. marks street and every other filthy place in the city i love so much.

she also brought up the notion of another civil war.

click on this comic strip to see why it probably won't happen in this lifetime.

civil war?
not on NASCAR's watch!

click here to see the comic on it's original page. be careful, it's wonderfully addicting.

bottles of belvedere all over the floor.

2006-08-26T23:17:00.000-04:00

trace a line from los angeles, to brooklyn, to london, to rio.
a certain thread of dna is shared by everyone. from the awesome to the assholes. thousands upon thousands of those new to adult life and privalege have, and always will, share the passion for finding one thing.
the meaning of life?
the way to salvation?
one's soulmate?
no. well... maybe, but
we're looking for the perfect party.
some parties are anticipated for months, even years. others begin unplanned. seconds after a quintissential song is poured into the right mix of people and shaken in a room. some grow out of a love for music, others for a love of the opposite sex (or same i suppose). and almost always a love for inebriation.

i've wondered why we have them, and why they are so anticipated. are they essential to one's life experience, or do they deter us from more important things? i can only conclude that the answers are yes, and yes.
my policy has always been everything in moderation. i could go on for pages analyzing the psyche of my friends and peers. it all comes down to the inarguable fact that although it is a temporary fix, combining all kinds of music (x), with all kinds of people (y) will always create a certain atmosphere. depending of course, on what experimental factors are present.
some will prefer gatherings with sufjan stevens and a cup of tea, others opt for ladytron and a line of cocaine. whatever it may be, i hope you find your perfect party. if our paths cross in the process, take a picture.

love it always.

bump that.

2006-08-13T14:17:00.001-04:00

if you haven't already,
meet
k-jax and desiree.

k-jax (his christian name is kyle jackson, but even his professors are asked to call him k-jax)
and desiree are former lovers, but forever friends. messiah college students may recognize this notorious couple for their heavy petting under various trees on public green spaces, couches in larsen student union, or anywhere else incredibly visible to those fortuante people in passing.

i just wanted to honor this picture.

i would love to see them perform this song at coffee house when school starts.

spank rock-bump (relatively explicit)

by the way, spank rock, this baltimore hailing indie hip hop group has caught my attention in a very good way. i hope they have caught yours as well. they will most definately be heard at my next dance party.

ciao.

2006-07-30T00:49:00.000-04:00

my friend went to dave and i'm talking to her on AIM and she liked it.
for a reason unknown to myself, my left index finger feels arthritic.
i am listening to Pixies.
i'm tired.

(that was a poem i just wrote about my feelings that moment. it is in the shape of a gun..??!!)

enough about that moment. how about a moment that began as a was driving home from my friend hannah's house at around 11:15.

the drive home took what felt like a drive across country.
first i drove down the steepest hill i've ever driven on. so i started in san fransico. (frisxco)
very quickly i noticed a McDonalds so i told myself (oh you just simply must stop there!) i went in the drive through and sat in the line for what seemed an eternity.
finally i reached the window and a nice girl with a tie on and a nametag reading olyvia kindly gave me my snack. (i was on the phone with margie) i asked her if she thought they ever turned off every light because i mean, it was open 24 hours. she didnt know, so i asked olyvia. olyvia didn't think so either.
after debating for a small while, i chose to park in one of the drive thru customers only spaces.
i had before me a small cheeseburger, small fries and a small chocolate milkshake.
i have not eaten this combination of foods in perhaps one year.
i didn't realize it, but i had driven off from the pick-up window without my chocolate milkshake.
mine window was open. i was talking to margie. i was cramming limp french fries into my mouth.
olyvia briskly walked to my window and gave me my milkshake. the one i had forgotten. she
smiled.
i know she was smiling sincerely. she was smiling sincerely because she like me. she liked me because when she gave me my bag i said "thanks olyvia." because i liked how she spelled her name.
my trip across country continued and i drank my milkshake as i drove. yes, i drink and drive. haha.
the roads wound through the trees smoothly and lazily. in peace.
i approached the center of one of the many small towns i drove through. i thought i was in canton. but in fact, i was not in canton, i was in new hartford?
country perspective-> i thought i was in colorado when i felt like i was in new jersey. why would my mind decide to play such tric(k)s on me? (i started from san fransisco.)
listen to me i'm listing to this link pasted into 6 windows. it is 6 songs deep. it started to bother me so i'm not listening anymore.
so i drove from colorado to new jersey (new hartford to canton)
when i was in new york city (3 stoplights before my house) i had realized that had not really loved any of the songs my ipod had played on my drive, so i told myself "Skip, skip to the next song, it is the last song you will be listening to in the car. you have run out of time to skip through. the song ended on the number by pretty girl makes graves.
i told myself to just enjoy it. and as a matter of fact i did. for some reason it has taken me 40 minutes to write this short much.
or is it not short?
i did not run over any animals during this unusually long trip home. i was glad, but if i had run over a possum i wouldn't have cared. i hate possums the most. if i was Holden Caulfield i would say "possums make me want to puke. i met a kid once at Whooton who liked possums. it killed me." i got home. for some reason my mind was full of words. a sink of words filled my mind to the top. with ice.
(i'll have a small pepsi. a bowl of soup. and a brownie-not-an-end-piece.)
i've decided to write a disspointing end. i will include no pictures. no more songs. you won't know what the sink filled my mind with. i built it up until i finally could tell you what i was thinking.
it could be the cure for AIDS.
goodbye.

p.s. listen to hear my thoughts, but never read. minimalist rock.

Q i suppose i've lied about my ending.

p.s. listen the the final brian eno song. go back and read the post. then sit and listen to the whole song with your eyes. closed.

surprises in store.

2006-07-20T00:15:00.000-04:00

PLEASE do yourself a favor and have a listen to this song. it's off tilly and the wall's new album bottoms of barrels. their joyous angst makes me nostalgic and love my friends.

tilly and the wall- sing songs along

if you didn't notice, their percussion is a tap dancer. so deck.

i've been promising people a new post for a while now.
it's about time i am true to my word.
and i am including a few surprises along the way.

work on the bottom rung has been very intriguing lately.
i feel compelled to explain.

a couple of days ago i rang up a book on improving one's oral sex techniques. title: Blow Him Away. who bought it? none other than the most awkward co-worker in the store. i like this woman, however she's just downright awkward. megan described her as "amish looking at first glance". the woman told me she felt the least awkward buying it from me of all the people working. i guess it was a compliment? (too many uses of the word awkward?)
regular readers of my blog will recognize this picture from an earlier post entitled "sex in the workplace". ironic? very! that's what i loved most of this situation. the irony. not the fact that i was selling a 42 year old woman a book on how to give him mind blowing oral sex. i guess you can teach an old dog new tricks... she's nice though, i'll give her that. really into social reform too, as well as reforming other parts of her life... ok enough about that.

this is soup.

before you is a hand drawn (by me) picture of a woman we call soup. she graces our cafe every single day (many times more than one visit). she is a creature of habit, ordering a small earl grey tea and cinnamin scone in the morning hours. lunch entails a small pepsi, cup of soup and a brownie-not-an-end-piece. soup often brings her three children along, always urging them to go places in their minds because it is so much better than going places in real life. her two daughters are albino (but don't have red eyes.) we call them the pale princesses. their ages appear to be 10 and 7. her eldest is paul, about 12. he is not albino.
more about soup to come in future posts.

now. a moment many of you have been anticipating for a very long period of time. photographs of dawn have finally come to pass. compliance was the least she could do after interrupting a conversation stacey and i were having during my lunch break. so, without anymore hesitation, here she is.

dawn.
this is the pose she quickly took when i asked if i could take her picture.

the fire eye'd woman.
support the man. buy a venti.

well, i'm tired of writing. time to check facebook.
warmly,
di

is it me, or is tabatha ludacris?

2006-07-04T15:03:00.000-04:00

hear ye, another mash up i've recently found myself singing, dancing and pretending to be a bad ass while driving whilst listening.

ludacris vs. red hot chili peppers
haha. it's so good don't even deny yourself the pleasure. bitch.

in addition, listen to this superb remix of my favorite tv on the radio song featuring a little intro by afrika bambaataa; staring at the sun.

ludacris is not the only notable person from georgia.
keep reading to meet georgia's most eligable bachelorette.

megan was on my computer the other night checking her facebook and i happened to be looking over her shoulder as she was checking pictures of her fellow schoolmates. here is a spectacle of some young women i noticed along the way. (remember this is a student at liberty university, the brainchild school of sir jerry falwell.)

um..?
i guess you could insert your favorite salt and peppa song here

the girl with the sumptous strawberry is TABATHA. megan claims that she's not friends with her, and i believe her, but i sure wish they were friends. or roomates. that would rock.

tabatha hails from georgia, just like ludacris.

but wait, tabatha has more to offer than just a little red strawberry.

here she is doing spider on the swingset with the friend she was seducing in the picture shown above:
admit it. they have awe-inspiring form.

continuing with the seduction on the playground motif.
wowch. what posture, what poise.

this happens to be a friend of tabatha's, i'm assuming she is the one who took the strawberry picture while sitting in the booth across.
we don't know this one's name, but she looks like a jenny to me.

intrusion of privacy? me désolé, non!!!
here we find tabby in a narrow stall. the toiletpaper roll is padlocked.
we catch her in a sexy pose as she sits on the toilet with her skirt still above her knees.
from this picture, i deduce that this may be a favorite meeting spot for any tryst in which she is involved. that's just my guess though.

and finally, one more precious pose.
oh to be young and spry on the bleachers.

although i have already burdened you with TWO songs, i just had to include one more.
i truly believe this might be tabatha and her strawberry friend in a singing conversation.
listen NOW! and decide for yourself.

later dudes.

that BASTARD instantly nexted me.

2006-06-27T22:34:00.000-04:00

promiscuous boy
let's get to the point.

i'm obsessed.
watch.

where did j. timberlake come from? why is he in the video? and why isn't he piercing our ears with his usual ultra-vibratto noise?

my bike and i posed for a picture so you can finally see us together.

i haven't really ridden it yet, but i will soon i hope.

margie came up from maryland for a visit last week. it was pretty fun. we spent an afternoon in new haven (how salinger!) and hiked to some waterfalls among other activities. amber was going to come with her, but opted out. she saw keane instead. you probably know my opinion on keane. if you don't, it isn't very respectable.

this is margie and me bothering amber.
i am dark skinned because i studied outside for my finals.

amber is pissed. mission accomplished!

ezarchive is being a bastard, so i can't upload any music today, and all the songs i've already uploaded for the blog won't work either.

i guess i will have to present you with a clip from one of my favorite shows. NEXT on mtv.

things i love about charity:
her sass
her articulate pronunciation
her rapping TALENT
her shirt (babys momma)

why do i love next so much? i guess because i love the one liners and insults that are so cleverly shot off one after another. i also love how unconvincing the characters on the show are when they spit off the lines.

$,
diana

i talk. talk. i talk to you.

2006-06-25T01:43:00.000-04:00

1994.
diana ecker, an 8 year old.
from age 8, to age 19 i cannot count how many times i have attempted to create a choreographed dance routine to this masterpiece.

watch the anthropamorphizing of these two robots. observe their relationship conflicting with those of "historical" times, and conclude that maybe it is possible that we as humans could progress too far as we embrace the future. however, remember this. love will prevail. past, present and future.

I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH.

όμορφος

2006-06-19T00:36:00.000-04:00

sam leone.

sam leone is my friend. she speaks at a faster rate than any other human i have ever met. i told her i'd give her a shout out. *HEY GIRL!*

our manager left us to manage on our own.
she is the woman in the middle. shelly. (click to enlarge)

όμορφος
(beautiful in greek.)

bay and sam are toasting to her last day with their cupcakes. we will miss our type-A personality, hypochondriac frenzied friend shelly... hopefully she won't give herself heart palpatations at her new job as she did while in charge of us. (yes, she did)

i've decided to make a documentary on a very popular yet little spoken of subculture in USA. the realm of romance novels. i would be lying if i said i have read an entire piece of romance literature, but i've read a few pages here and there of multiple works as well as studied the covers of a great many as well. let me know if you are an avid reader of danielle steele, norah roberts, or any other literary genius of relation to the romance genre.

here's a taste.

here's a little excerpt from the novel.

"Godric placed his hands on the tree behind her, enclosing her in a prison of muscle. His body enveloped hers, and his comforting campfirelike scent surrounded her. He leaned forward until his chest grazed hers.
White-hot sensation skittered down her spine.

“It would not be like that at all,” he whispered, brushing her forehead with his lips. “I feel how your skin responds to my touch. I feel your heartbeat.”

“That is anger and fear.”

His hands traced a slow trail down her shoulder. Leaning away, he allowed enough room between their bodies to rake his fingernail softly across her nipple. Sensation arced from her breast to her woman’s core.

“This, my lady, is neither anger nor fear,” he murmured.

Although the dress and shift were between them, she felt naked. She gasped and pushed him back, not wanting to experience the desire curling in her stomach.

He took a tendril of her hair and twirled it between his fingers. The strand glistened red-gold in the sunlight. “Your passion matches your hair.”

She shook her head. “Everyone knows red hair is unlucky.”

“Men make their own luck by following their passion. And yours awakens each time I touch you…”

jessica trapp. author of master of pleasure.

for more pictures and other VERY interesting factoids on jess, go to her very own website. JESSICA TRAPP novelista extroidinaire.

so now you can't tell me jessie's little website is less interesting than talking about ashlee simpson getting some of the bones on her face filed down to a smaller size.

ok people, i'll leave you with a song by my boyfriend, sufjan. O!(LISTEN!)
The Mistress Witch from McClure (or, The Mind that Knows Itself.)
this is from The Avalanche a collection of outtakes from his perfect album Illinois.

love.

E,
diana

the show of bleeding hearts and chaste vaginas.

2006-06-14T00:39:00.001-04:00

the pictures are out.
brangelina had its baby, and now all of us common folk are privileged to pay money for the People magazine in which the photos are published.
oh wait, you can't buy the magazines in most stores anymore because they sold out for the week. sold out? well of course! everyone needed to snatch the issue so they could criticize what the child looks like.
here's one conversation i was confronted with at the counter:

lady 1: it's a pretty cute baby, i mean as far as babies go.
dawn: my son is so much cuter.
lady 2: yea, everyone is waiting to see what the baby's nose looks like.
me: why?
lady 2: because brad and angelina both had nose jobs.
group of women: WHAT? oh wow. it's going to be really interesting to see what she looks like when she's older.

brangelina had a nose job? both of it? i suppose that is viable, but i'm not going to bother looking for before and after pictures. those people are not worth wasting any more of my time thinking about.

so...

i got my new bike today! it's neat, i have to get it put together at the bike shop because i can't.

i will now be posting a song of the day somewhere in each entry.
today's is:
the bleeding heart show by the New Pornographers. i love these guys, and this song is totally superb. the buildup is so great and will make you sway in your seat no matter where you are.
speaking of pornography, i rang up my first skin magazine the other night to a creepy mechanic who also bought sudoku for geniuses.

contrastingly...

remember my facebook tirade? i found something new. my new favorite facebook group. ever.
entitled: I am Going to Have Amazing Sex When I'm Married (MC Chapter)

here's the picture that goes along with the group. for real.

i am not an extremist. i am not on a wild right or left on this issue. i am not bringing up the topic to promote an argument or discussion, and i could care less about your opinion on the subject either.

i'm not finding amusement in the commitment to "waiting" these group members (all whom i've never heard of or seen) have all sworn their alligence. fine. i wanted to discover the underlying purpose of the group. being a virgin at messiah is not a novel idea. i have yet to meet anyone who has been sexiled by a roomate at night, and condoms aren't sold in the vending machines. so what is the POINT of joining this kind of a group? well, here is a loose theory with many many exceptions.
- christian college. one is waiting until marraige. find a member of the opposite sex who is also waiting. date. they can't WAIT any longer! they must get married ASAP. graduate. marry. have AMAZING sexxxx.-

diana, i thought you were trying to find the purpose of I am going to have amazing sex when i get married. ok. here it is.

join this group to find the one.

ok ok. i know it's a little out there in left field, (or right) but bear with me. i have proof. here are direct quotes from the frequently messaged message board. (my favorite quotes will be highligted in red.)

Kyle Werts at 10:30pm May 4th, 2006
Let's hear it for the guys in the room!!

Lauren Sell at 1:30pm June 9th, 2006
in response to kyle's post...

woot woot! *claps for the guys*

Sarah Nowicki at 10:56pm June 12th, 2006
definate claps for the guys!!

here are some excerpts from a message board labeled 'WOW!'

Post #1
Elizabeth Reininga wrote on Apr 7, 2006 at 12:44 PM
I am SO glad that you started this group! YAY FOR BEING A VIRGIN :P It is so nice to have people who back you up! :) I can't wait to be married...because I can't wait to share that special bond with one person...that I will be with for the rest of my life. I just hope he can wait aswell...

Post #2
Sarah Nowicki wrote on Apr 7, 2006 at 1:25 PM
hey,
i totally agree with everything you said!!! it's nice to meet people who are willing and want to wait until they're married until they have sex AND who believe that marriage is forever. so many people are so nonchalant and dont care about who they have sex with and figure that marriage is just a nice party with a ceremony at the beginning. and yeah, i totally believe in secondary virginity for people who made a mistake and are sincerily looking for forgiveness.
i cant wait until i'm married either so that i can share everything that i have with that one special person.

Post #3
1 reply

Lauren Sell wrote on Apr 7, 2006 at 7:43 PM
awesome to have a group i fully agree with! haha now we just need some guys to agree! i definitely agree God can and will restore you if you mess up!

now we are coming proving my thesis point. this message board now switches topics from applauding virginity, and consolation in case someone has "made a miskake" to an online singles network. what facebook absolutely doubles as, and where these girls will find their special one.

Post #4
2 replies

Leah Johnson replied to Lauren's post on Apr 14, 2006 at 1:16 PM
once again..great group! u can count on messiah people to think of one like this (: how many people here are in relationships?

Post #5
Sarah Nowicki replied to Leah's post on Apr 17, 2006 at 9:37 AM
i'm not in a relationship but i really dont mind...
the guy that i like said that he doesnt want to be in a relationship because he wants to focus on God. and i can totally respect that! <-common nice way of saying "i dont like you."
Post #6
1 reply

Elizabeth Reininga replied to Leah's post on Apr 23, 2006 at 5:11 PM
I was in a relationship. It lasted 4 months. It became more serious than it should have been and it was NOT God honoring. I will never lose my virginity before I am married...BUT there are SO many lines that you can cross. ...and I cannot WAIT to meet the love of my life. I have wanted him my whole life, I have waited for him my whole life, and it is something that can't come to soon. What about you...in a relationship?

alright i know people are going to tell me i'm making fun of these poor girls. making fun of virgins. being hypocritical as i am in all my posts. that is not my intent of course. i would like to know how many of these girls will actually be friends once school starts in over 2 months. will a strapping handsome young man stumble across the group to choose one of these vestal virgins?? UNDOUBTEDLY!!!!

best picture ever.

here's a girl who sold her virginity to pay off student loans. rosie reid.

maybe i'll ride by you on my bike sometime,
diana

happy birthday to my friends:
megan l.
hannah b.
drew h.

i have recently realized that i have never met a carl i didn't like.

too hot to handle

2006-06-06T00:10:00.001-04:00

i bought an old b on ebay the other day. i didn't tell anyone in my family about it because i want to see their reaction when i get a big box delivered to me. i hope it works well. if it does i'm going to ride it everywhere!

i just got home from work.
yesterday at work it was busy. a busy day means more of a chance for obscure people to come and be asses that i can talk about later and laugh.

to begin, i will give you a lesson in the ways of a barista.
1. when creating an espresso drink requiring steamed milk, one must never heat the milk over 180 degrees farenheit, otherwise the milk will curdle and be unsuitable for consumption.
2. give the customer what it wants because you don't really care about it's well being. (there are a few exceptions, like if it is nice.)

i was standing at the register when a short woman of ample proportions approaches me. she is wearing an eye-catching green shirt with a large cartoon animal print. her unwashed dirty blonde hair is pulled back tightly, held in place with a matching green scrunchie.

harmless enough. "large banana coconut frappacino" i thought to myself. i like to guess what the customer is going to order before they do. these types usually go for the frappacinos.

woman: (very knowledgably) "i want a tall latte, extra hot, minimum 190. absolutely no foam."
me: (thinking to myself) this is not a good situation. (to my manager) "she wants a tall latte steamed to 190." i give her an i-dont-know- just-give-it-to-her look

the woman at the counter sees the milk being poured.

woman: "oh, you use the crappy milk."
i say nothing, and simply give her a look of apology while i hope in my mind that she scalds her tongue on her curdled latte.
woman: well hopefully the coffee taste will overpower it.

i made the assumption that she must dealer of cocaine, but then retracted the assumption because if that was true, she would be much thinner and perhaps better dressed. more like meth.

woman: "make sure there is no foam in that"
manager (michelle): (annoyed) i'll do my best, but when heating to this high of a temperature, it's almost impossible to do that.

michelle proceeds to burn her hand by getting hot milk on her hand. she curses under her breath and makes known her rage. i am utterly confused and kind of repulsed as i watch the woman and her husband walk to a table in the corner. these are exactly the kind of people i find most interesting in life, so i decide to "wash" the tables next to them.

i approached and noticed them playing a fast paced card game. spit.
i hate spit more than any other card game in the universe.
it all made sense.
i left the situation hoping to never be a part of it again.

Ri love the open road

fondly,
di

looking for cool people on messiah college facebook is like looking for a needle in a haystack.

2006-06-05T00:30:00.001-04:00

oh my hell. i just do not know where to start with this one. i have so many bad notes to sing here, i should probably start with some good ones.

firstly, listen to elliot.
elliot smith- needle in the hay (live in stockholm)

secondly, i would like to dedicate this entry to alana baker. she is one of my best friends and is heading to germany in the morning to be a chef at the world cup. this seems like a very random summer activity for any normal person, but alana is so full of surprises that nothing she does surprises us here anymore. like this comment she made to me today, it was one of the last things she said to me. it is my last memory of her this summer.

alana: i'm never smoking pot again.
diana: (unconvinced) what? why?
alana: i had a bad experience last week.
diana: ok just tell me about it.
alana: i was in new hampshire at the beach with my friend. just sitting there. then she asked me if i wanted to smoke, and i said no, no i'm fine here... with nothing. but it was perfect peer pressure, so i agreed, and we smoked a bowl.
diana. haha
alana: I felt like my teeth were floating to the back of my spine, and that's all i could think about.

haha, i love her witty recollections. the day alana officially never takes a lungful of marijuana infused air... i will renounce my religion.

which brings me to my next point. my college.

MESSIAH COLLEGE
i need to begin with a disclaimer. i truly love my college. messiah college. jesus christ college. or, if you are an orthodox jew, 'he who has not yet come' college. i have formed many genuine, beautiful friendships at this school. friendships devoid of bullshitting around human feelings, and not afraid to experience the diverse situations life brings to every young adult. (fancy words for you know what.)

if you do not attend messiah college and/or do not percieve yourself as religious, you may think kids who go to a christian college can be predominately the conservative-hypervirgin-closeminded-carboncopy type individual. i do not believe that being conservative or hypervirgin are negative traits, they just usually compliment other factors that can lead to a bad combination.
i don't really want to go on about this topic because i don't give a damn about it. people are who they choose to be, we can go on for days looking at the vices of humanity, but i needed to say it before i moved on to looking at the following subjects from an amused perspective.

two statements.
facebook. incoming freshmen.

i remember getting facebook before actually going to college. joining groups. making "friends" with total strangers. looking for attractive young men (a very unsuccessful attempt) making presumptions on who seemed cool enough to be on the lookout for once that warm day in late august arrived.

i hope at least one of the '10 kids is reading this after he or she has spent hours on facebook searching people, and out of fate clicked on my link. please comment. i will be honored.

it is so intruiging to stumble across a '10 facebook. i will not call these people good or bad. i will just ask you to enjoy what they have released for all to see.

HARSH? maybe. but this is just a factual analysis. if you are a nice and caring person, and are going to get upset at me do not keep reading.

for each respective facebook page i will include a brief prose by yours truly. please, if you happen to see yours, kindly request it to be removed. this is a very risky undergoing, but let's look at this as though i am an objective reporter, and not a student who will awkweirdly see these people in real life someday.

ok i'm going through facebook, and i feel really mean and bad for doing this. i must take all concience out of this situation.

i have decided to leave names and pictures out of it.

subject #1.
Basic Info
Sex:
Male
Interested In:
Women
Relationship Status:
Single
Looking For:
Friendship
Dating
A Relationship
Hometown:
Shoemakersville, PA

AIM Screenname:
xxxiamfreexxx
Website:
http://www.purevolume.com/breakthesilenc...

Personal Info
Interests:
MUSIC: i love playing guitar, piano, and drums, i also enjoy singing.
EXPERTISE: playing the instruments w/o the knowledge knowing how to read music!

i also enjoy hanging with friends, watching movies, working out

Favorite Music:
classic rock: Styx, aerosmith, Boston...and so on
Pop: Green day, simple plan, Reliant k, bowling for soup....just trying to name some off the top of my head
Christian artists: newsboys, pilar, cutless

About Me:
Somebody to talk to if you need to talk Somebody who is always there when you need them the most Somebody who cares Someone who can brighten up your day if you just let them That's me Binkz ..

WHO I'D LIKE TO MEET: (diana's favorite part)
a person who's face shines off the moonlight, glistening by the lake, her eyes looking deep into mine as if in outspace, someone who would lift me off my feet with out the slightest touch, and take me to another world by hands smooth to the touch

conclusion: this young man is looking for a long term mate. maybe even a wife. his taste in music is terrible (to my biased standards) his screenname reveals a "hardcore" personality, while also revealing a sense of hope and faith (maybe in Jesus Christ? perhaps?) the kicker for this boy is who he would like to meet. hell, i don't really know what to say about it. it's just so beautiful. "her eyes looking deep into mine as if in outspace" outspace, i love outspace, maybe i'll start using facebook as a dating personal and try to hook up with kid. long term of course.

ok i'm really tired. i can't keep being lame and going through random strangers facebook pages. it makes me feel very... very unstable.

i need to talk about my day at work in my next entry.

yours falsely,
d.

(i don't think i am completely sober here. at least i hope i wouldn't do that pose while i was sober.)

music for your ears

2006-05-30T15:27:00.000-04:00

i love the velvet underground, and i love this song.

i also love bastard pop (bootlegs). this bootleg is pretty good, so i stole it from another blog and posted it here.

listen to the original when you are driving somewhere on a sunny day. it helps if you wear sunglasses as well.

velvet underground - sweet jane (original)

chemical brothers vs. velvet underground - sweet jane (bootleg)

to my faithfuls

2006-05-11T00:46:00.000-04:00

hi everyone. i do not believe i have directly adressed the readers of this blog in this way before. i just wanted to apologize for the ugly template my blog is currently sporting. it was the only one that would handle the wide nature of the fairy blog which i think was a very important post. i am back home in connecticut now, so when i have time i will make it look better. i honestly get grossed out at how ugly it is at the moment. oh well, i hope all of you are doing well and appreciate your positive feedback. expect more bizarre and/or startling posts soon.

fondly,

(me in the "buddy corral" at the special olympics as i waited an hour for my "buddy" to arrive so i could chase her around the 100 degree indoor pool as she didn't obey a word i said. i hated that day.)

fairy, faerie, farie, fairey?

2006-05-07T15:54:00.001-04:00

this post is a result of my journey to glen rock pennsylvania and my attendence of the local fairy festival. a person encounters many life altering experiences over the years. this experience truly brought a bizarre realization to my attention. there exists a population of people in our country, America, who take the time to put together a festival devoted to fairies (i will also be referencing to them as fair folk.) where they dress up as fair folk and other mythalogical creatures, ultimately to commune with one another in a worship service to the maypole. (and also see who has the hottest fairy look this year.)

what is this strange realm through the woods which i am about to enter?

As my friends and i approached the entrance (where we promptly lay down a $10 entrance fee) there were a group of men protesting with witty, straightforward and not-so-comforting signs.

i am afraid i must protest these beards.

here is my dilema. i am a christian. these men were shouting at me, warning me of the pagan rituals and heathen activity i would encounter if i entered the realm of the fair folk. i will admit, it made me think. i was about to monitarily support this festival, essentially giving my approval to the cause, and before coming across these men, the thought of seeing "pagan activity" had not occured to me. i do know God tells christians to avoid pagan activity, and to be honest, these men furthered my curiosity of the festival, but now i was approaching it with an outside point of view. i had no idea fairies were related to any kind of paganism. my goal know was to put away my pre-concieved notions of "pagan worship" and occultic ideas and look at everything objectively. this is what i saw, and these are my thoughts of fairy festival 2006.

we are welcomed with fairy jargon. Kubiando! wecome to fairy fest! prepare to say and think "what the hell?" to everything you encounter!

when entering the fairy realm, a stream sat by the path. in the stream was one of my first of many "out of reality" experiences at the fest.
here i am, approaching a real "swamp thing". this person is dressed as though it is a giant moss creature. dont get too close!

can fairies dress in drag? yes. "i would like to say something to the maypole in silence." -the boy with blond hair and blue skirt.

the maypole is often considered a phallic symbol, symbolizing one of the most important norse pagan dieties Freyr. He was worshipped as the phallic fertility god, who bestowed unto them peace and pleasure while ruling over nature. at the festival i attended a service where hundreds of people gathered to request a fertile and prosperous land for the year, as well as looking to find peace with one another. as a messiah college student, this was an uncommon sight for me to behold. (although i'm sure it would be an uncommon sight to most) the only worship services i had ever really been to were those of christian/catholic/jewish faiths. it was new for me to see the worship of a different diety, and it took me awhile to remove myself from all bias. once i did, everything they said was nothing novel or different. they simply asked for prosperity and peace. i believe these are two important aspects of life, and understand their intention for happiness. however, in my soul, i somehow did not feel at ease with the service, and it helped me understand why God tells christians to avoid the worshipping of anything other than God. everyone faces the same direction as the leader chants to the maypole.

now for a lighter note. i want to share with you some of the creatures i met throughout the day.

this is an ogre. he liked me i think. i believe my co-worker dawn (see prior posts) is a descendent of him.

WARNING: SEXY 5
WARNING: SMOKING HOT 6

you know those few kids you always had a class with? the ones who wore tie-dyed shirts with a picture of a fairy on the chest? the greasy headed kids who wore necklaces with pendants hanging from them? they played dungeons and dragons religiously, and never went out into the sunlight? well, this is where the majority of them came to socialize. surprisingly, they are not the only ones who make up this fantastical sub-culture as you undoubtedly observe.

this tail looked so soft to touch!

krista (the winged one) and i jump in for the pic.
6

these fair folk were so kind to give me a lesson in fairy love-making. actually no, but there is no doubt their's is wild...wildly sharp 6

margie discovered these two fair folk off in the wooded parts. a fairy is always up for a photo!

i hope these wonderful photographs are giving you half a glimpse of what i encountered that day. may they be thought provoking and please realize, these people are 100% serious.

a peppermint joint? how perfectly fairytastically festive!

now i must leave you all, my friends, with one last photograph. in mine own eyes, it has won the award of "greatest photograph ever captured by a photograpy tool" please enjoy it responsibly, and please remember, these people have sex with eachother. hot, pointy-eared, erotic, fantasy sex.

this picture was taken secretly(notice me nonchanlantly getting "near" them.) i.e. this couple was not posing for a picture, they were standing there like that for a while. i'm not sure why.

fondly,
di

p.s. a special thanks to marjorie bennington for providing me with all of these priceless gems of pictures. FF4L! (fairy friends 4 life!) good work!

AMATEUR SKETCH

2006-04-28T12:22:00.000-04:00

I URGE YOU TO WATCH THIS CLIP. these people are part of your human race. they all think, feel, and experience life as we do. i feel as though one cannot understand the meaning of life until this clip is viewed and appreciated.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQnB64CoLuw&search=leprechaun <- watch before you read any further!!!!

the amateur sketch seen in this clip is one of the most darling images i have seen in my entire life. ever. apparently, i am not the only one who feels this way. http://amateursketch.ytmnd.com/

to me, it is priceless.

my new favorite line is "i don't give a rat's ass." it mysteriously came into my head when i was walking downstairs to do my laundry. shortly after, i imagined a short dialogue using the lines:

Woman: You don't even give a rat's ass about what i think about the situation!
Man: Of course i give a rat's ass, you're just overreacting!

that's all i have so far.

i just remembered another funny thing i saw on the local news here in pennsylvanie (french pronnunciation of pennsylvania). the news anchors were informing us of various tragedies occuring in different counties. the anchor quickly informed us of a tree that had been uprooted and stolen from a yard. "the tree's location is still unknown." this story was preceded the day before by a clip of a woman who had no teeth stating the horrors of the burning trash epidemic in York. she pronounced all of her "r" and "l" sounds with "w" sounds. i.e. "The scawey thing is that it just bwew up. it cuwd happen again at any time. that's the scawey pawt."

))<>(( <- haha

fondly,
diana

iran from niloc

2006-04-17T23:30:00.000-04:00

there is an issue at hand on my college campus.

one would expect an inhabitant of a developing third world country to have little access of any form to advanced hygiene. it simply is not a crucial factor in their daily existence. however, one would assume that despite lack of any advanced hygiene, a "third world" citizen would make a few trips to the local stream for a quick rinse, or pull some water from the well to wash off any excess dirt and/or filth. a "third world" person may also make an effort to keep a high traffic area in the home/shack somewhat "clean" according to cultural standards. this would seem reasonable. the idea of humans and an effort for sanity seems reasonable.

i have always taken the hygiene of citizens of the united states for granted...
until very recently.

i used to sit next to a boy named niloc* in my 8 am french class. *name has been changed

as you can see, it is quite impossible for him to keep a white shirt it's whitest.

so my story continues.

one evening i decided to pay my friend josh a visit. as i made the trek to his room, i notice a foul smell at the center of the hall, but paid no attention as it cleared by the time i got to josh's room. he asked me if i noticed the smell in the hall and i nodded yes. "oh, that kid NEVER showers." and he continued to tell me about failed attempts at intervention for this young man whom i soon realized was the boy i sat beside in french class. however, i never noticed him smelling, only that he scratched his head quite frequently. the next morning i proceeded to my seat next to colin, i mean niloc and was hit by a smell so foul i instantly turned and found a seat out of smelling distance.

i soon observed that he not only smelled like otherworldly garbage, but had an unusual grey coloring on various parts of his skin. my friend krista and i deducted this must be dirt. i had seen this before, on homeless people. strangely, this layer of grey became darker as weeks (yes weeks, we kept track) passed. we sat apalled. this was becoming dangerous. the smell was reaching a level of potentially killing a small child and/or animal, and the grey was turning black and appearing on more surface area of the skin. if nothing is done to stop this problem, it will most likely turn to something like this:

i hope this image repulses you. maybe it gives you a small notion of how niloc repulses those who walk too closely behind him.

moving on.

this weekend i went home for easter. tonight i came back, and performed my nightly routine of brushing my teeth and washing my face. it smelled as though niloc had spent the weekend sitting in the bathroom. i tried to hold my breath, but the smell of old trash amongst other "things" was just too powerful for my senses and i ran back to my room. well, at least now i can sympathize more easilly with those who live in garbage dumps.

now a completely new subject.

amanda told me this today:
apparently iran is in the process of building nuclear weapons intending to destroy israel, britain and the u.s. because they want to start a holy war. WHAT THE HELL? the leader of iran (i dont know who that is) has also stated that if anyone tries to intervene, he will deploy 40,000 suicide bombers who are ready and willing on-call. (this is what niloc is going to do if anyone tries to throw water at him) if anyone is any more knowlegable of the situation, please comment. otherwise, i may be leaving the country soon.

keep on rockin in the free world! (my new letter ending)
diana

when i became a prostitute i swore i would never...

2006-03-16T00:08:00.000-05:00

eileen is not able to drive on the highway by herself, so she asked me if i would go with her to court. it was just a quick protest/lie about a ticket to get out of paying. what neither of us realized was the free entertainment we would get from heidi.

heidi is loud, and looks puerto rican from the back, but really is just a white lady strongly influenced by ghetto-hispanic culture. she is so full of life and attitude, and bitch- don't you dare cut her in line!

we first noticed heidi in line in the clerks office. she was letting everyone know how she was waiting for so long to hand in paperwork while everyone else was just going right on ahead.
-what injustice!

she then muttered to a man she had flirtatiously befriended in the office-

"i should have saved that pot for after court!"

i fell in love with her personality immediately.

the man was clearly on far heavier substances and i do not think he stopped talking for one second while we were standing in line. the obnoxious type, like heidi.

eileen and i found our way to the courtroom. a crowded, quiet place with tension clouding the room. 2 minutes later the quiet atmosphere ceased. the clorox bleached blonde bombshell had entered the room. and what's this!? she runs into one of her old high school fuck buddies in the pew behind us! i could not have asked for anything more perfect. that charmer, she was even hitting on the officer calling off names. i do not know how he was able to refuse such a deal.

heidi finally settled down for some intense flirting. her powers, although they did not work on the officer, hit a bullseye on this fine man.
his t-shirt read, "polygamy pete's, why have just one? bring some home for the wives."

another man in the courtroom was wearing a classy t-shirt that said, "trust no bitch."

anyway, so as heidi went on and on quite boistrously about herself
"i'm 36, remember? we were in the same grade!"
"i have 4 kids too, they're all on honor roll."
"i got divorced 6 years ago"
"i swore when i became a prostitute i would never shoot up, and you know, it hasn't been easy but i've made it."
"i REALLLYYY want to go out with you as soon as i'm done, PLEASE wait for me! i need pot"

so the ticket fiasco ended, eileen lied to the lawyer and got her ticket reduced. from what i observed, heidi went out with her guy, while artfully dodging the other crazy man who was following her and after that, one could only imagine what went down.

i have learned- court is a great place to find hookups, dope and liquor.

this blog is dedicated to heidi, wherever she may be. God bless her.

welcome black!

2006-03-08T00:35:00.000-05:00

i was on a hiatus from blogging for a while. a close friend of mine urged me to break that break.

today in chapel i sat between matt wells' twin, and some random melodramatic girl.

this is matt (and stacey) this is his twin

matt's twin asked me if i was excited for chapel. i said, "well, not really, i usually just do my homework or sleep." he gave me a wide grin and said, "yeah, that's why i bring my pad of paper." he then proceeded to write on his small pad of paper during the entire chapel. the girl sitting next to me had a junior high style backpack that was much too full of things im sure she deemed important. she tried to make me feel bad for her while she juggled her bag, muffin and coffee but i just kind of looked at her.

later on i was watching the girl sitting in front of me. she had the smallest thumbs i had ever seen. they looked about half the size of normal thumbs. cute!

i would love to commend jodi sweetin, former full house child star, and now FORMER meth addict! congratulations girl, your story of recovery has really been an encouragement to many people.

Yes mr. falwell. No mr. richards.

2006-02-05T21:40:00.000-05:00

my weekend was wonderfied by the courting couple mrs. megan law and mr. troy davis.

they are so kind to drive up from liberty to pay me a visit.

the real reason they came was to see copeland on saturday, and also so troy could freely expose his long-ish hair that he normally has to disguise.

we decided that the liberty university community is very much like the society described by george orwell in his book, "1984".

speaking of liberty, which we love to do when mr. and mrs. come, jerry has decided to come around and take on a new look!

ever since mr. falwell has gone through such a drastic change, i'm sure he wont be making an issue of troy's "un-christlike" long-ish hair.
*a cheer comes from megan in the backround.

ok so maybe i was a little harsh. i take no responsibility for my words here, so in the words of an obnoxious, collegiately living, cynical young woman. OH WELL.

cute little girl!

we went to the fairey (that's how it's spelled) godmother vintage clothing boutique in mechanicsburg. it was actually wicked fun and good. the fairey who helped us not only taught us how to think vintage, he gave me a lesson in 20th century american history with every article of wear i asked him about. neat! (that was not meant to sound sarcastic)

i watched the superbowl half-time show. it sucked and would have been much more entertaining if one of those skeletons had collapsed on-stage. i know that sounds bad too, but come on, it's going to happen eventually, it might as well be during the most watched live television feed of the year.who will die first?

alright already. after insulting a famous right wing fundamentalist university founder, and one of the most influencial bands of all time, it's time to take a break. forgive. ciao babi.

this is my PISSED OFF entry.

2006-01-15T23:22:00.000-05:00

today i was supposed to see imogen heap in concert.
it sold out.
i got pissed off, but handled it pretty well.
then it struck me what i missed, and i'm back at school.
school... merde.

here are some pictures of me and my sidekick.pink and electric green are popular color combos for this young lady.
hearts are also likely to be spotted on her ensembles about 6 times a week.

Christmas morning.
the very much anticipated bathrobe.
she was so worried she wouldnt get it that she asked me to bring her to the mall on Christmas eve so she could buy it with her own money. how the hell does she have money is what i was wondering?
as you can tell, she was not disappointed.
p.s. why does she look so tall?
p.p.s. am i claiming to be the messiah? maybe... ok just the college i guess.

Christmas eve evening.
we are eating at amici with the Law's. Megan and Fish helped set up this photo.

i've been listening to eiffel 65 during the composition of this blog, and it has evolved into a swanky one person party complete with tea, dark chocolate and flourescent lighting.

conclusion:
life could be much more disparaging.
simple things are most enjoyable.

we gotta live with fuckin'... what's that.. anthrax... mMmm

2006-01-05T16:39:00.000-05:00

ok.
so i was watching E! one day over break, and the show was playing back the most funny clips of the year from random shows.

i do not usually find these shows funny, but, we finally had an exception.

ATTENTION:to view these clips, click on the link, and if is says FORBIDDEN, copy and paste the url into a new window. it will work! and you will be glad you did!

the winner was.. dare i call houston and alert them of a problem...?
i find this clip exceptionally hilarious every time i watch it. especially when i repeatedly watch the part where she says "kiss my ass!"

i also love how the shot of her saying "kiss my ass!" does not fit with the rest of the argument. it's like they spliced different parts of the argument together, which makes it so much better!

not enough whitney? check out these other clips i really love...

whitney and bobby... high.
i love her little ponytail in this one.

whitney's little flick dance.
use these moves the next time you are intoxicated at a party.
or just use them.

whitney and bobby... interact with their daughter.
little bobbi obviously hasn't started smoking crack yet.

here's one more photo.

who knew they were friends with ariel?

smells like content

2006-01-01T23:17:00.000-05:00

my new years resolutions are as follows:
-start a blogger, even though hannah (whom i have utmost respect) says "blogspot sucks hard"
-be nicer
-stop using heroin

i was contemplating putting up a "best of" list for '05 regarding music, but i don't have the energy. go to my friend josh's blog to read (and listen) to a much better rendition of the year's best indie trash. (trash=cool)

disclaimer: i am not using this blog to radiate my angst or contempt for poeple or politicians....umless it's really important

SO. instead of looking back at all of two thousand and five, i will briefly overview one event that lasted less than 5 seconds.

december 27th was a warmer than usual winter day, and I was in nyc shopping with my dad. finally, after leaving builtbywendy, we were headed home. let me tell you, i am an observer of people, so naturally i was staring at every person i passed on the sidewalk.

suddenly i saw a very familiar young man walking toward me.

and following him was:

except they weren't smiling

Minding my way on a random sidewalk in greenwich village, i watched as they stared straight ahead and briskly passed me by. i was almost like them, apart from being rich, famous, on the best show in the world, and probably headed somewhere cool (not to mention having the rights to sleep with adam) i DID grace the same sidewalk...

now on a completely different note

i must pay homage to a woman i was able to see while i was back home. i work with this woman. her name is DAWN.

before i recall what happened, you must know what she looks like. i would describe her as cameron diaz in a certain film... exceptions apply.
add:
-underbite
-dead/missing teeth
-men's clothing
-a stack of magazines in both arms

so maybe i broke my resolution of being nice right there, but the importance of truth bears more importance in this scenerio.

now picture this nice 33 year old lady (who acts like and hangs out w/ 19 yr olds) saying the following quotable phrases i have accumulated over the past 10 months.
-"when i was 7 my stepfather picked me up by the pigtails and slammed me against the wall."
-"I'm tri-sexual. I'll try anything once!" (i thought she actually had 3 sex organs for a minute)
dawn:"Hey Diana, how old are you?"
me: "18"
dawn: "what kinds of things do you like to do for fun?"
me: "oh i dont know, just stuff i guess, why?"
dawn: "well i'm going on a date with this girl...she's 19. We worked together in Yonkers for a few years, and sort of had a thing" (this was one of many akward conversations i had with miss d.)
-"see this!?" (pointing to the pentagram around her neck) "this is what i stand for!" (akward)
-"the father of my child is 58 years old"
-"the father of my child is stalking me"

there are many more, but they must be saved for dawn blog part II.

once josh teaches me how to upload music to this thing i will be giving you better, multi-sensory entries.

until then, peace.